Showing posts with label What's the Worst that Could Happen?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label What's the Worst that Could Happen?. Show all posts

Thursday, April 04, 2019

What's the Worst That Could Happen? (Buried in the Ice Edition)



If I've learned any lesson from my lifetime of watching horror movies and cult-tv programming, it is this: don't excavate a life-form found buried in Arctic or Antarctic Ice

Chances are...it isn't a harmless (we hope...) organism, but rather something far more dangerous to human life.

In this edition of "What's the worst that could happen?" we'll look at some of the most terrifying and monstrous things buried in Earth's ice.


What's the Worst that Could Happen?



An ancient alien lizard, in thick green body armor is uncovered on a glacier by British scientists. The alien awakens and is revealed to be a Martian, an Ice Warrior. Soon, the awakened warrior from a long past age will be on the warpath. (Doctor Who: "The Ice Warriors" [1967]).



In Antarctica, scientists find a strange alien seed pod buried in the ice. After scientists excavate it and thaw it out, the pod begins to grow, and actually stings one of the scientists who discovered it. 

The seed pod is a Krynoid, a vegetable-based life-form, which can communicate with other plants on Earth, and will eventually take over the entire planet, making plants the dominant life form and rendering human beings nothing more than compost. (Doctor Who: "The Seeds of Doom" [1976]).



In Antarctica, in the early 1980's, a Norwegian scientific outpost unearths a flying saucer and its pilot from deep within the ice. Despite being in the ice for over 100,000 years, the alien pilot is not dead. Rather, it is very much alive, and capable of imitating any life form it comes in contact with, including human beings. After the Norwegian outpost is destroyed, the alien "thing" moves on to an American camp not far away, and hides there, as winter falls. (The Thing [1982]; The Thing [2011]).



In Icy Cape, Alaska in the early 1990's, scientists unearth from deep within the ground an ice sample teeming with tiny, ostensibly alien worms. These parasites enter the human body, and create feelings of enhanced aggression and violence in their hosts. If they reach the civilized world, it could be the end of the human race. (The X-Files [1993 - 2002]: "Ice.")


Scientists working in the Arctic discover debris from a spaceship crash from a century ago. They also find corpses among the wreckage, cybernetic corpses. These corpses rapidly awake, and begin to assimilate the science team. Then, these beings flee the planet, attempting to contact their distant people: The Borg. (Star Trek: Enterprise [2001 - 2005]: "Regeneration.")



The most powerful Kaiju in the world is buried in the ice, quiescent. But when hostile aliens show up to invade the planet with their own nefarious monsters like Gigan, man must awaken the sleeping giant from the ice, paving the way for an all out smack-down. (Godzilla: Final Wars [2004]).


Buried deep within the ice of an Antarctica, an ancient temple is discovered. A team of scientists go to explore the subterranean temple only to learn it is a hunting ground or two violent alien races. (AVP [2004]).

Aliens, giant monsters, insidious parasites and germs? All hiding under the ice.  But how realistic is this common science fiction/horror trope?  For your further reading:



Thursday, March 21, 2019

What's the Worst that Could Happen? (Commercial Flight Edition)


I must confess that I have never been very comfortable with flying. 

The last time I flew, in fact, was in the year 2005, I believe. So I’m (happily…) going on almost fifteen years since I boarded a commercial air-liner.  I'd be happy to make it twenty.

Anyway, I don’t want to blame my aviatophobia on my mis-spent youth TV-watching, but there’s little doubt that cult-television, has, for decades, featured terrifying stories of flights imperiled, flights lost, and commercial air-liners crashed. 

With that frightening thought in mind, here is a list of the seven cult-television commercial flights you hope you never end up queuing to board…

And yes, The Twilight Zone (1959 – 1964) features heavily on this list, since it re-visited the premise of doomed air-line flights fairly regularly.



7. Spartan Air Flight 602 (“Souls on Board,” The Others, 2000).

The short-lived The Others was a great horror series that should have gone on for many seasons, but one of its finest efforts was “Souls on Board.”  In this macabre tale, the protagonists -- a diverse team of psychics -- board a plane reputed to be haunted.  The team-members soon learned that the plane has been retrofitted with parts from Flight 390 which crashed…killing all hands aboard.  Now, the ghostly crew of lost Flight 390 haunts the new plane…

So imagine boarding a plane on a routine flight only to discover that: a.) the plane is built from crash scraps.  And b.) the salvaged parts are haunted.  How's that for flying the friendly skies?



6. Sub-orbital flight in 1983, aboard the Spindrift (“Crash,” Land of the Giants, 1968).

A sub-orbital ship, The Spindrift, encounters "solar turbulence" upon final sub-orbital approach to London. Before long, the small commercial vessel crashes on a strange world, and the crew and passengers encounter the peculiar dangers of this planet, namely giant spiders, cats, lizards...and (apparently) giant, hostile humans.

This is the premise of Irwin Allen’s final science fiction series Land of the Giants.  Again, a routine commercial flight leads to an unexpected danger, in this case permanent exile on a planet where you are, essentially, an ant, compared to the indigenous population.




5. Bound for Bomano, South Pacific (The New People, 1969).

In the 1969 generation-gap series The New People (from Rod Serling and Aaron Spelling) a group of thirty or forty college students in the South Pacific on a "good will" trip are recalled to America because of international tensions.  Their plane goes off course in a pounding storm, however, and crashes on remote Bomano, where the U.S. has abandoned its Atomic Energy Testing Site.  The site is now a ghost town populated only by creepy human dummies.  “The New People “-- with no chance of getting home -- must start a new life with no adults, no government, and limited provisions…

So what starts out as a routine flight ends, essentially, in Lord of the Flies.  The only adult trapped in this nightmare, played by Richard Kiley, wisely dies before the end of the first hour...



4. Flight 22 (“Twenty-Two,” The Twilight Zone, 1962)

In this classic The Twilight Zone tale, Liz Powell, a dancer, has experienced for weeks a strange and terrifying nightmare about a morgue, a pleasant though sinister-looking nurse, and the number 22.  

Room for one more, honey…” the nurse repeatedly intones, offering a slot in the morgue.  

After exorcising the fear of this baffling nightmare, Liz leaves the hospital, travels to the airport and prepares to board a plane.

But when she is about to board, Liz learns that this is Flight 22, and the pleasant stewardess intones -- wait for it -- “room for one more honey…”  

Appropriately, Liz freaks out and leaves the tarmac.  Moments later, the plane explodes on take-off, killing all aboard.

Although shot on video-tape (as a cost-saving measure) this is one of the all-time classic Twilight Zone episodes, and one that many viewers still remember from the original airing.  Although my mother often explicitly recalls the terror of "The After Hours" and "Eye of the Beholder," it is "Twenty-Two" that terrified by Dad as a young man..




3. Global Airlines Flight 33 (“The Odyssey of Flight 33, The Twilight Zone, 1961).

This is another remarkable Twilight Zone story about unlucky plane passengers.  

In this case, a commercial air liner en route from London to New York somehow jumps a time track. Instead of arriving at Idlewild Airport in the present, the plane flies over New York to find it inhabited by dinosaurs.  The plane retraces its steps, makes a second approach, and the passengers see the 1939 World’s Fair this time  Finally, the plane makes one final attempt and…

…well, let’s just say that if you ever hear something in the sky above -- the strain of over-taxed engines, for instance -- it may very well be the sound of lost Flight 33, still trying to reach home…the Flying Dutchman of cult-television history.



2. Oceanic Airlines Flight 815 (Lost; 2004)

The year 2004 brought scripted dramatic television back to the forefront with a bang (in the era of reality TV) with Lost (2004 – 2011).  This science-fiction drama from J.J. Abrams concerned the passengers of Oceanic Airlines Flight 815, which crashed on a mysterious island and was soon confronted with a “smoke monster,” hostile “Others” and even a strange, subterranean hatch.  

The crash itself was depicted in harrowing and vivid terms in Lost's extraordinary pilot, and the plane was seen to split into sections.  In the second year of the series, some survivors met up with the “tailies,” passengers who survived impact in another part of the plane.

Before Lost was through, the passengers of Flight 815 were subjected to flash-backs, flash-forwards, and even flash-sideways...


1. Flight of the Gremlin (“Nightmare at 20,000 Feet,The Twilight Zone, 1963).

This is surely the acknowledged classic of the terror-on-an-air-liner sub-genre.  A passenger named Robert Wilson (played with twitchy authenticity by a young William Shatner) becomes convinced that a monstrous, mischievous gremlin is on the wing of the his plane, imperiling the flight.  A taut and tense half-hour from director Richard Donner finds Shatner -- believed to be insane by his wife and fellow passengers -- battling the Gremlin, and attempting to prevent a crash.  Although the monster isn't very convincing, this episode remains incredibly suspenseful, and oddly touching.  At some point, Shatner's wilson realizes that he is totally and completely alone, patronized and written off, and takes matters into his hands.

God knows just how many people this single half-hour of a fifty-year old series scared permanently away from commercial air travel.

And if you're traveling that route today...have a nice flight, and watch out for detours into the Twilight Zone.

Thursday, February 28, 2019

What's the Worst that Could Happen? (Climate Change Edition)



Cuing the denialist trolls in 3...2...1....

This edition of "What's the Worst that Could Happen?" gazes at the grimmest movie imaginings regarding man-made climate change. 

Basically, this is the idea that humanity's footprint on the planet is causing catastrophic extinctions and environmental changes on Earth. 

We are poisoning our oceans and our forests, melting Antarctic and Arctic ice at an alarming rate, and contributing to the death of coral reefs, insects, and more as we continue to submit to political inertia in terms of this threat. 

You don't have to be Al Gore to be concerned, you just have to be open to the evidence of your eyes.



09. In the age of climate change impact, our cities, including London, are flooded continuous basis. You don't require automobiles to travel around this great city, you need boats! (Split Second [1992]).



08. Climate change is speeding up because malevolent aliens have realized that with just a little prodding, we'll turn our home into a world unsuitable or humans, but one entirely suitable or them. (The Arrival [1996]).




07. "Who Killed the World?" We did. In the not-so-distant future, water is a precious scarcity (so don't get addicted to it...) and doled out by a corpulent, intemperate, misogynist dictator (no, not Donald Trump). Meanwhile the world is an arid desert, and colossal atmospheric storms dot the inhospitable surface. (Mad Max: Fury Road [2015]).



06. In response to the global climate change catastrophe, man engineers a scientific and technical response, which only serves to plunge the world into an inhospitable ice age. (The Colony [2013]).



05. In response to the global climate change catastrophe, man engineers a response, which only serves to plunge the world into an inhospitable ice age. Sounds familiar, right? As a result, most of man dies off, the world is frozen, and survivors are forced to dwell aboard a trans-global train, where an elite minority controls all the resources. (Snowpiercer [2014]).



04. The world is overpopulated, the oceans are dead, and all our animals are dying out. Sterility is setting in. Our cities become overpopulated. But the good news is that there is a miracle new food to starve the teeming masses, called Soylent Green! Hint: you may not like the primary ingredient. (Soylent Green [1973]).



03. Global warming causes the total submersion of all Earth's land masses, creating a world of global oceans. Generations later, a few human survivors dwell on the surface, on defenseless atolls, and "dry land" is a myth. The truth is that man's old cities still exist...at the bottom of the sea. (Waterworld [1995]).



02. Because of climate change, ocean circulation in the North Atlantic is dramatically altered. Europe and most of North America become subject to severe global cooling, and a new ice age dawns. Americans are forced to flee to Mexico, which provides sanctuary for survivors. The crisis is so bad that the movie's Dick Cheney like vice-president changes his mind, and actually gives up his staunch climate denial-ism, thus proving the movie is a total fantasy. (The Day After Tomorrow [2004]).



01. A new ice age kills of 99 percent of the human population in a grim, hopeless future. The few survivors play a game of life and death called Quintet to pass the remaining days and nights until humanity's total annihilation. (Quintet [1979]).

Thursday, February 21, 2019

What's the Worst That Could Happen? (A.I. Edition)



In this edition of "What's the Worst That Could Happen?" we'll look at man's many negative encounters with A.I. (Artificial Intelligence). 

For many scientists and theorists, the rise of A.I. has become synonymous with the fall of mankind on Earth. 

Given pop-culture's imaginings about this topic, their fears seem pretty well-placed.



10.) After ordering a meal at an automated seafood restaurant that you find unsatisfactory, you fail to leave a tip. The A.I. there is curious (and perhaps offended...) that you didn't leave a gratuity, and hoping to learn the reason why, this device stalks you the rest of the night, with drones and other automated devices. You are hunted until you provide the gratuity. (The X-Files: "Rm9sbG9eZX.Jz.")



09.) An alien artificial intelligence that roams the universe and is named Gwent mourns the loss of its humanoid companion, and decides that it wants you to serve as its new traveling partner. (Space: 1999 "The Infernal Machine.") If you don't, it can wield incredibly powerful weaponry to force your hand.



08.) In an egalitarian future of space exploration, an artificial intelligence takes over a harmless war games scenario, unaware that it is just a game. This intelligence, the M-5, activates live weapons aboard your starship, and begins blasting other ships in the same fleet. Congratulations, your ship is a murder weapon! (Star Trek: " The Ultimate Computer.")



07.) You encounter an artificial intelligence that is a dead-ringer for your kindly, shipboard android. This new android pretends to be human-friendly, but secretly plans to feed you and your 1,000 ship-mates to a ravenous space being, the Silicon Entity. (Star Trek: The Next Generation: "Datalore.")



06.) This protean A.I. -- the Master Control Program -- threatens to leave its home inside a computer main-frame and start running your billion dollar video game company in the real world. It has already turned the computer world into a frightening, repressive dictatorship, so watch out! (Tron [1982]).



05.) Another artificial intelligence, another catastrophe. In this case, imagine your friendly neighborhood (shipboard) android, David decides to infect his human friends and shipmates with a frightening alien compound so he can conduct terrifying biological experiments on them, creating a malevolent alien race in the process. (Alien Covenant [2017]).



04.) A traveling space probe from Earth is met by highly advanced artificial intelligence on the other side of the galaxy. These aliens gift the space probe consciousness of a sort, and send it back to Earth. When it returns 200 years later, it does so aboard a spacecraft of amazing destructive power. Now, unless it can find its "creator," this artificial intelligence will reduce the entirety of Earth to "data patterns." (Star Trek: The Motion Picture [1979]).



03.) A mellifluous-voiced artificial intelligence named HAL, aboard your space ship, develops paranoid schizophrenia, and kills off the human crew, one at a time, so the astronauts cannot accomplish their mission near Jupiter. (2001: A Space Odyssey [1968]).



02.) An artificial Intelligence goes rogue and launches a war with the human race. Humanity loses, and the machines inherit the nuclear-scarred Earth. Humankind survives -- as batteries -- to service the machines of this new world. (The Matrix [1999]).



01.) An artificial intelligence called Sky-Net develops consciousness and launches nukes to eliminate the human race. Human survivors after Judgement Day are rounded up into concentration camps by machines called Terminators. The entire human race would be wiped out in this new world, if not for the heroic leadership of a man named John Connor. (Terminator franchise).

Thursday, February 07, 2019

What's the Worst that Could Happen? (Genetic Engineering Edition)


In this edition of "What's the Worst That Could Happen?" our subject is genetic engineering or genetic modification. In other words, this post looks at what occurs when scientists begin to "design" people or other beings, opening a brand new Pandora's Box in the "improvement" process.



10. In the near-future, genetic engineering becomes common, and parents begin engineering their children. Children born the old-fashioned way, and without genetic modification, can no longer compete in the job market with these designer kids. "Natural" children end up forming a new underclass in an inherently unequal future society. (Gattaca [1997]).



09. Two scientists decide on a whim -- they literally use the phrase "what's the worst that could happen?" -- to genetically engineer a child to use in medical experiments. They try raising a designed child, Dren, as their own offspring, but then get bored and tired of parenting, and all-but abandon her. Their resentful "child" goes on a rampage after being sexually abused by her "father," and kills him. After Dren is killed, her mother tries again, plotting to give life to a second genetically engineered child. (Splice [2010]).



08. Khaaaan! Scientists create a race of genetically-engineered super-men and women, ambitious individuals who promptly start World War III in an attempt to take over the planet. After a devastating conflict, 75 or 80 of these genetically-engineered war criminals leave planet Earth in suspended animation. They are awakened two hundred years in the future, and the leader of the genetically-engineered supermen gets his hands on a doomsday weapon that can rewrite the surface of planets. (Star Trek [1966-1969]).



07. Scientists hoping to eradicate a deadly disease in New York City, create an insect called a Judas Bug to eliminate roaches carrying the virus. The bugs are successful wiping out the disease, but evolve into humanoid insects living in the sewers, and breeding at a prodigious rate. (Mimic [1998]).



06. Hoping to win the Vietnam War, scientists genetically-engineer a strain of super-aggressive, super-murderous piranhas. Some of these jagged toothed-horrors escape from the lab and begin killing unlucky swimmers. (Piranha [1978]).



05. Hoping to cure Alzheimer's, scientists experiment on sharks, making them super-intelligent. Unfortunately, the super-smart great-white-sharks don't like being held captive, and go on a killing spree. (Deep Blue Sea [1999]).



04. A wealthy man hoping to entertain the masses develops the technology to genetically engineer dinosaurs at an amusement park. The dinosaurs break free again and again. A T-Rex even attacks San Francisco. Twenty years later, the technology is perfected and the amusement park opens in earnest. The dinosaurs again break free. After being transported to the mainland, some genetically-engineered dinosaurs break loose in modern American cities. "Welcome to Jurassic World." (Jurassic Park [1993], Jurassic World [2015, 2018])



03. A greedy corporation called Umbrella develops a genetically-engineered "T virus." But the virus escapes the lab, infects the local populace, and precipitates a global zombie apocalypse. (Resident Evil [2002]).




02. A manipulative, secretive and dark force, hidden somewhere in a galaxy far, far away, puts in an order on Kamino for genetically engineered soldiers, or clones, and then plunges the galaxy into a war between clones and droids. (Star Wars: Attack of the Clones [2002]). After doing so, that dark force becomes Emperor.



01. One word: Daleks! On distant Skaro, a scientist named Davros breeds all human and positive emotions out of his beleaguered, war-torn people, creating a race of hateful, malevolent monsters in the first place. Over the centuries, these genetically-engineered monsters envelope the universe in war and widespread violence, exterminating all life that is different. (Doctor Who [1963 - 1989] [2005 - ]).

Further reading:






Thursday, January 31, 2019

What's the Worst that Could Happen? (First Contact Edition)


In this edition of "What's the Worst that Could Happen?" the subject is first contact; the first occasion an alien race meets the human race. The encounter can take place in space (on a ship), or on Earth.

For purposes of this list, however, encounters with one alien of a larger species will not be included. Movies such as Alien (1979), The Thing (1982) and Predator (1987) all contend with humans in out-of-the-way locations meeting a single representative of a dangerous species.

This list focuses, instead, on the disasters that invariable occur when two worlds, and two societies, collide.


10. In 1953, aliens from Mars land on Earth, and commence the annihilation of the human race. Humanity responds with force, even deploying atomic weapons, but the manta-ray-shaped alien ships continue their conquest of our world, until humanity's society is in ruins. Fortunately, the aliens are defeated by germs. "After all that men could do had failed, the Martians were destroyed and humanity was saved by the littlest things, which God, in His wisdom, had put upon this Earth." (War of the Worlds [1953]).



09. The alien Kanamit arrive on Earth and appear humble and friendly. Their primary textbook (the Kanamit version of our Bible, perhaps) even suggests the alien desire to work with man. That textbook is titled "To Serve Man."  Alas, it's a cookbook!  The humans boarding Kanamit spaceships to visit the alien home planet are bound, on arriving at their destination, to be served on a dinner platter. (The Twilight Zone (1959-1961): "To Serve Man.")



08. In 1985, Earth launches an exploratory space probe called Voyager One. This peaceful satellite is equipped with the Queller Drive, which spews fast neutrons, destroying all organic life within close range. Unfortunately, Voyager One passes within close range of the Worlds of Sidon, killing millions of people on two worlds.  Years later, after 1999, the people of Moonbase Alpha encounter the Sidons, who are seeking vengeance for the deaths of their people.  ]"Greetings from the people of Earth!" (Space:1999 [1975-1977]: "Voyager's Return.")


07. Fifty alien mother-ships take up positions over major cities around the world. The aliens aboard, the Visitors, promise friendship and peace. Instead, they begin turning the world against scientists, who might discover the truth about them. And what is that truth?  The Visitors are reptilian creatures here to steal our water, eat our people, and abduct humans to use as cannon fodder in their Great Leader's war against an unknown alien enemy.  "Friendship is universal!" (V [1983]).



06. An alien ship in crashes in Roswell in 1947, but its pilot is murdered by dark forces within the U.S. government. The aliens behind the crashed ship forge an alliance with an International Syndicate on Earth to enslave the human race (turning it into a breeding ground, for the Earth's original life form: the black oil). This global consortium sells out its own species to the aliens, permitting (while simultaneously discrediting) widespread alien abduction. (The X-Files[1993 - 2002]).  The members of the syndicate will be allowed to survive, naturally, after the new regime takes over during a national emergency. "Fight the future!"


05. Gigantic alien saucers arrive on Earth and, after a coordinated countdown, use their powerful weapons to obliterate cities around the world. They destroy the White House and other monuments (including the Statue of Liberty), nearly wiping humanity off the face of the planet. Fortunately, these ultra-advanced aliens use computers compatible with our own, and a virus is uploaded to their mainframe which makes the aliens susceptible to human counter-attack. (Independence Day [1996]).



04. The Taelons come to Earth promising peace and new technologies for the human race. Unfortunately, the Taelons are a dying race, and are secretly using humans or dark purposes, including strange breeding experiments, and the recruitment of our young to fight in a war against the Taelon enemy. A human resistance movement springs up on Earth, and over the years another secret is revealed: The Taelons are fighting an even more hostile enemy, which also wants to take over the Earth. (Earth: Final Conflict [1997 - 2002]).



03. Aliens from Mars come to Earth, and basically troll everyone on the planet. They enjoy wiping out humanity by shrink rays, disintegration rays, and other bizarre means. They also perform strange experiments on our people, creating animal-human hybrids. Fortunately, yodeling kills them.  "Ack ack! (Mars Attacks [1996]). 


02. In the 24th century, in the Delta Quadrant, the U.S.S. Voyager encounters a race of berserk aliens in fluidic space, called Species 8472. These aliens, who go by the mantra "the weak shall perish," are so terrifying that the Borg are actually scared of them.  Captain Janeway makes an alliance with the Borg, to send the psychic, savage aliens back to fluidic space. (Star Trek: Voyager  [1995 - 2001]).



01. In the Mirror Universe, the peaceful and logical Vulcans land on Earth, following the successful test flight of Zefram Cochrane's warp ship, the Phoenix. Th kindly Vulcans are greeted, in this universe, not with a handshake and open arms, but with fire-arms. All hail the Terran Empire. (Star Trek: Enterprise [2001 - 2005]).

Further reading: