Thursday, February 28, 2019

What's the Worst that Could Happen? (Climate Change Edition)



Cuing the denialist trolls in 3...2...1....

This edition of "What's the Worst that Could Happen?" gazes at the grimmest movie imaginings regarding man-made climate change. 

Basically, this is the idea that humanity's footprint on the planet is causing catastrophic extinctions and environmental changes on Earth. 

We are poisoning our oceans and our forests, melting Antarctic and Arctic ice at an alarming rate, and contributing to the death of coral reefs, insects, and more as we continue to submit to political inertia in terms of this threat. 

You don't have to be Al Gore to be concerned, you just have to be open to the evidence of your eyes.



09. In the age of climate change impact, our cities, including London, are flooded continuous basis. You don't require automobiles to travel around this great city, you need boats! (Split Second [1992]).



08. Climate change is speeding up because malevolent aliens have realized that with just a little prodding, we'll turn our home into a world unsuitable or humans, but one entirely suitable or them. (The Arrival [1996]).




07. "Who Killed the World?" We did. In the not-so-distant future, water is a precious scarcity (so don't get addicted to it...) and doled out by a corpulent, intemperate, misogynist dictator (no, not Donald Trump). Meanwhile the world is an arid desert, and colossal atmospheric storms dot the inhospitable surface. (Mad Max: Fury Road [2015]).



06. In response to the global climate change catastrophe, man engineers a scientific and technical response, which only serves to plunge the world into an inhospitable ice age. (The Colony [2013]).



05. In response to the global climate change catastrophe, man engineers a response, which only serves to plunge the world into an inhospitable ice age. Sounds familiar, right? As a result, most of man dies off, the world is frozen, and survivors are forced to dwell aboard a trans-global train, where an elite minority controls all the resources. (Snowpiercer [2014]).



04. The world is overpopulated, the oceans are dead, and all our animals are dying out. Sterility is setting in. Our cities become overpopulated. But the good news is that there is a miracle new food to starve the teeming masses, called Soylent Green! Hint: you may not like the primary ingredient. (Soylent Green [1973]).



03. Global warming causes the total submersion of all Earth's land masses, creating a world of global oceans. Generations later, a few human survivors dwell on the surface, on defenseless atolls, and "dry land" is a myth. The truth is that man's old cities still exist...at the bottom of the sea. (Waterworld [1995]).



02. Because of climate change, ocean circulation in the North Atlantic is dramatically altered. Europe and most of North America become subject to severe global cooling, and a new ice age dawns. Americans are forced to flee to Mexico, which provides sanctuary for survivors. The crisis is so bad that the movie's Dick Cheney like vice-president changes his mind, and actually gives up his staunch climate denial-ism, thus proving the movie is a total fantasy. (The Day After Tomorrow [2004]).



01. A new ice age kills of 99 percent of the human population in a grim, hopeless future. The few survivors play a game of life and death called Quintet to pass the remaining days and nights until humanity's total annihilation. (Quintet [1979]).

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