In the cult television Valhalla, viewers have encountered several lost or wayward space travelers: human men and women isolated in the void of outer space, and seeking a new home (Space: 1999, Lost in Space), a way back to Earth (Star Trek: Voyager, SGU) or even a mere respite from pursuit (Battlestar Galactica).
In
virtually every well-known TV tale of “lost” space travelers, however, the
human community struggling to survive has been forced to contend not just with externals
dangers such as strange space phenomena or hostile aliens…but with threats from within their very group. These internal dangers – these treacherous characters -- are perhaps the trickiest to manage,
and these menaces often cause tremendous discontent and strife.
So
without further introduction, here are the five characters you’d least like to
be lost in space with.
5. Dr. Nicholas Rush (Robert Carlyle) on SGU (2009 – 2011). Admittedly, Dr. Rush is not flat-out evil, like at least a few of the names you’ll note on this list, but he’s certainly…difficult.
A genius and a dedicated scientist, Dr. Rush
finds himself trapped aboard the Ancient starship Destiny, a vessel flying out
of control and headed beyond the confines of our galaxy. Although we learn in the episode “Human”
about the tragic death of Rush’s wife, Gloria (Louise Lombard), that personal
background detail hardly excuses Rush’s secrecy, his arrogance, or his schemes to
see life on Destiny unfold by his agenda.
Early on in the first season, Rush frames the ship’s leader, Colonel
Young (Louis Ferrara) for murder, so that he can continue to study Ancient
technology unimpeded. After Young exiles
Rush on a desolate planet, Rush manages a return (thanks to a little alien
abduction…) and returns to Destiny. Once
there, he agrees to cooperate fully with Young for the well-being of the crew,
but in the very next episode, sets about trapping Young aboard a shuttle, and
seizing control of the Destiny for a faction of civilians.
In
short, Rush is a valuable asset in terms of his intelligence and knowledge, but
absolutely unreliable in terms of loyalty or team-work.
4. Seska (Martha Hackett) on Star Trek: Voyager (1995 – 2001). Seska is a member of Commander Chakotay’s (Robert Beltran) Maquis crew when she joins Voyager in the Delta Quadrant in the series pilot “Caretaker.” Introduced in the second episode, “Parallax,” Seska quickly proves that she isn’t exactly Starfleet timbre. She constantly second-guesses attempts to integrate the two disparate crews, and deliberately goes against Captain Janeway’s orders of non-interference in the episode “Prime Factors,” opting to steal alien technology that could provide a short-cut home.
Of
course, the kicker with Seska is that she is incredibly deceptive. She is not the Bajoran she appears to be, but
rather a Cardassian spy! When Janeway’s command style proves to her intense disliking,
Seska reveals her true colors and begins secretly working with a villainous
Kazon sect that hopes to seize Voyager.
Finally -- making her the intergalactic equivalent of Fatal
Attraction’s Alex Forrest -- Seska impregnates herself with Chakotay’s
DNA and then uses Chakotay’s child as bait to entrap Chakotay and the Voyager
crew.
On
the plus side, Seska is apparently the only person in history to find Chakotay
interesting…
3. Commissioner Simmonds (Roy Dotrice) on Space: 1999 (1975 – 1977). When the moon is blasted out of Earth’s orbit, Moonbase Alpha is manned by 311 dedicated scientists and astronauts.
Plus,
there’s one politician tag-along…Gerald Simmonds.
In
the first episode, “Breakaway,” Simmonds is revealed to be your typical political
animal, a man who would do and say anything to avoid making a tough call, and
at the same time maintain his position of power authority. He’s a weasel and a bureaucrat, one who would
easily let Commander Koenig (Martin Landau) take the fall for a difficult
decision.
But
in his second appearance in “Earthbound,” Commissioner Simmonds proves rather
more malicious than his behavior in “Breakaway” suggests. When visiting aliens called Kaldorians arrive
on Moonbase Alpha, Simmonds contrives to take any action necessary – including blackmail – to assure that he
gets a seat (or stasis tube…)on their spacecraft, which is headed to
Earth. Specifically, he threatens Alpha’s
life support unit, and holds several technicians at gunpoint.
Cruel,
imperious, and eminently capable of violence, Simmonds is a “superior” officer,
but an inferior human being. As his
actions in “Earthbound” make plain, Simmonds puts his own well-being ahead of
the lives of everyone on Alpha. As
Captain Zantor (Christopher Lee) notes of Simmonds, he is a “diseased”
individual. And as Paul Morrow (Prentis
Hancock) observes, Alpha is “well rid of him.”
2. Count Baltar (John Colicos) on Battlestar Galactica (1978 – 1979). In the first episode of the original Glen Larson series, Baltar betrays the entire human race to the genocidal Cylons. He does it with a smile, which makes it worse.
The
Cylons spare Baltar’s life only so that he may pursue the fleeing rag-tag fleet
and destroy the Galactica. But Baltar,
strangely, seems to switch loyalties…again.
In “Lost Planet of the Gods,” he meets Adama (Lorne Greene) on the
sacred planet of Kobol and presents a plan to attack the Cylons, even releasing
Starbuck (Dirk Benedict) from captivity to prove his sincerity. Adama doesn’t believe him, and Baltar is left
to die on the planet surface
In
a later episode, “War of the Gods,” Baltar is back. This time, he’s fearful of the Ship of Lights
and visits Galactica to propose a universal truce. Instead, he is immediately imprisoned and
taken to the Prison Barge, where he attempts escape (“Baltar’s Escape”).
And
finally, in “The Hand of God,” Baltar again navigates the narrow line between
friend and foe, promising the Colonials critical information about the lay-out
of a Cylon base-star if only they grant him his freedom and maroon him on a
habitable planet.
The
problem with Baltar, of course, is that betraying and exterminating nine-tenths
of the human race is an offense that’s tough to walk back from. But that doesn’t stop him from trying. Why
propose a truce? Why propose teaming-up? No one can guess what really motivates
Baltar, besides his own lust for power.
1. Dr. Zachary Smith (Jonathan Harris) on Lost in Space (1965 – 1968). If Dr. Smith is near, you have plenty to fear, to turn around a popular character catchphrase.
This
“reluctant stowaway” aboard the Jupiter 2 in Irwin Allen’s Lost in Space started out
as a saboteur and villain, and then became – for three years – a constant irritant to the heroic Robinson family
of space pioneers. Cowardly,
manipulative, and insulting (especially to the robot), Smith managed to land
himself and usually the Robinsons too into all kinds of trouble over the
years. In “My Friend, Mr. Nobody,” he
nearly killed a peaceful alien so as to possess a cache of diamonds. In “The Oasis,” Smith used-up the last of the
family’s precious water…for a shower.
Smith
causes accidents (“Wish Upon a Star”), sabotages spacecraft (“The Raft), covets
alien items (“The Magic Mirror”), requires constant rescue (“His Majesty Smith”),
is transformed into a stalk of celery (“The Great Vegetable Rebellion”), and
even attempts to sell the family robot as spare parts (“Junkyard in Space.”) In short, he makes life miserable for the
Robinsons.
It
has often been suggested that Dr. Smith be shown the way to the nearest airlock
on the Jupiter 2, and booted into space.
It’s a testament to the Robinson family’s good-nature (and the family
friendly atmosphere of the series…), that this never occurred. But Smith surely represents all the worst in
humanity, from greed to treachery to disloyalty. It would be miserable to be lost in space
with this guy.
In
fact, just imagine being lost in space with a crew consisting of Dr. Rush,
Seska, Commissioner Simmonds, Baltar and Dr. Smith.
Which of 'em would get kicked out the airlock first?
Hypothetically, of course. Which of 'em would get kicked out the airlock first?
ReplyDelete#1 Count Baltar
#2 Seska
#3 Dr. Zachary Smith
#4 Dr. Nicholas Rush
#5 Commissioner Simmonds
SGB
Hi John,
ReplyDeleteAs an unabashed Lost In Space fan, this puts me in a bit of a quandary. I can't, in good faith, make an argument against Dr. Smith being first on your list of villains who should be on the wrong side of an air lock. However...
He did save their lives, in a roundabout fashion, by being trapped on the Jupiter 2. See "The Time Merchant" for details. It doesn't excuse his behavior, which - as I've pointed out before on your blog - borders on cartoonish. I've never considered Smith a real person as such. As Jonathan Harris said, Smith is a comedic villain. I used to watch his antics and wonder how anyone could wind up like Smith. Now that I'm an adult, I consider Smith to be a finer human being than several people I've met in real life.
I think Baltar would have been assassinated in the real world. Somebody would have gotten to him. He is presumably left on an isolated planet when last we see him, but don't think for one second the Cylons won't find him and put him back in command. Some interesting unwritten tales waiting to be told, I imagine.
Simmonds kind of showed himself to the airlock, so to speak. He was his own worst enemy, and a symbol of sorts...everything the Alphans weren't. It was inevitable that he would get his comeuppance.
I know nothing of Rush, having never seen SGU.
Which brings me to Seska.
From your brief summary of her sins alone, she sounds awful. Impregnating herself with Chakotay's dna, in order to turn his unknown child against him? That's just wrong. As the kids say in the 23rd Century, she kray kray. She's a taco short of a six pack.
Seska gets my vote to be thrown out of Voyager's air lock. They're in the Delta Quadrant. Who's gonna know? Just don't put it in your log entries, and you're good to go. Or you could just pull a Kirk, and say she gave her life in performance of her duties.
No Seska, no worries!
Steve
John,
ReplyDeleteMy comment about airlocks never got posted. Also, my Lidsville comment and Logan's Run second comment did not get posted. Are you not getting them or not aprroved? Just wondering.
SGB
Spot on with Commissioner Simmonds.
ReplyDelete