RETRO TOY FLASHBACK #35: Coloring Books!

I post today in praise of coloring books, those fun little booklets that allow children in some small way to be "a part" of the adventure. I've written about this subject before in relation to novelizations, colorforms, model kits and other toys, but I've always believed the MSM (that's the mainstream media...) has it all wrong regarding television.

So many reports and academicians mistakenly view TV as some sort of passive activity - vegging out on the sofa or some such thing; couch potato-ism - whereas I don't think that's the case at all. I'm speaking for my generation now because that's where I have experience: Gen X. But I firmly believe that we grew up watching TV shows like Star Trek and movies like Star Wars and then took that love - through novelizations, through coloring books, through action figures, whathaveyou - into our own universe of creativity.

When reading a coloring book, for instance, with crayon in hand, we are taking control of the universe we admire and like and actively engaging it, deciding what colors (and crayons...) to use, and for how long. Simple you say? Perhaps so, but it never ceases to amaze me how many folks who started out with coloring books and action figures are now writing their own books, drawing their own comics, filming their own movies, or otherwise fully immersed in the creative process. I think this must have indeed started very young, with just such "products" as film/tv-related coloring books. Doesn't matter if it was Holly Hobbie, The Sunshine Family, or Roy Rogers.

For me, my earliest memory of a coloring book is from about 1975. I had a Planet of the Apes coloring book emblazoned with a yellow cover, and remember laying on the carpeted floor in my grandparents' home in Verona, NJ, coloring away while my folks visited. I remember everything about that evening: the red sofas lining the wall, where the TV was positioned, that this was the first occasion wherein I learned the word "jabberwocky" (because I heard my parents use it...) and so forth. Perhaps because - even at age 5 - I was engaged in some kind of creative activity - my antennae were up and in "receiving" mode.

Over the years I collected a number of coloring books. There were some great Space:1999 coloring and activity books (which I sadly no longer own...) wherein children could de-code alien languages, create a kind of "film strip" for the Big Screen in Main Mission, and so on. I've also collected Star Trek, Black Hole and Buck Rogers coloring books over the years and though I don't actively color in them (god forbid, they're collectors' items!!!) I always appreciate them because I see them as the beginning of creativity. Even choosing a color and putting a crayon in hand...that's the starting line for individuality and creativity, even if the images come from a TV show.

I don't mean to be pretentious or make an overreaching case for coloring books. I simply mean to say that they're cool and fun, and valuable for the kiddies. I know when I'm a Daddy, I hope to spend time coloring with my child; sparking his or her imagination. It may not be high art, but coloring books nonetheless lead one to an appreciation of art or at least to the knowledge that one can actively participate in it. You think?

CULT TV FLASHBACK # 20: Manimal (1983)

Not a man; not an animal; Jonathan Chase (Simon MacCorkindale) was...Manimal!

In 1983, NBC was suffering from the pre-Cosby Show doldrums and searching for new series - ANY new series to help the once-proud Peacock restore its ratings glory. Thus oddball series such as The Rousters (which promised to "sink the Love Boat!") were added to the prime-time line-up along with the short-lived superhero program from Glen Larson and Donald Boyle, Manimal.

Manimal chronicled the strange adventures of Jonathan Chase, a man who, according to William Conrad's ominous introduction each week, had "the brightest of futures, the darkest of pasts." To wit, Chase had learned from his father the secrets of transformation; the secret that "divides man from animal, animal from man."

In other words, Chase would solve crimes working with the NYPD and would every episode turn into animals such as a hawk or a black panther in the course of solving a crime. His sidekicks were Brooke Mackenzie (the lovely Melody Anderson) and Michael D. Roberts as Ty, another cop. The incredible Steve Winston was the magician behind the special effects, which looked a lot like the transformations spotlighted in such werewolf movies as An American Werewolf in London (1981) and The Howling (1981).

Imagine a series in which every week, a hero gets in trouble, and at just the right moment, transforms into an animal to escape the predicament. It's kind of like The Incredible Hulk, only with a panther, a hawk, a bull and the like substituting for the big green fella. That was Manimal in a nutshell. Unfortunately, because the special effects were expensive, the same dramatic (and occasionally impressive-for-their-time) transformations were repeated shot-for-shot each segment of the series, which only stayed on the air for eight weeks.

The height of Manimal's absurdity came with an episode called "Breath of the Dragon," which aired December 10, 1983. In the series' de rigueur Chinatown episode (ever notice how every superhero show has an episode set there?) Chase had to fight off a Chinese gang. He thus duly reported that the study of martial arts began with animals; in the observation of how they strike and defend. In keeping with that illuminating bit of sociology, the episode culminated in a straight-faced fight sequence in which series star MacCorkindale bounded absurdly about his opponent, adopting the movements and characteristics of a mountain gorilla. This is something that must be seen to be believed...

TV Guide named Manimal one of the 50 worst shows of all time in 2002 and noted it was "an astonishingly silly, unintentionally hilarious crime series." (TV Guide, July 20-2006, 2002, page 22). People Magazine trenchantly asked "Would you believe a crime-fighting professor with the superpowers that enable him to turn into a variety of animals?" (October 3, 1983).

As if Manimal wasn't enough, creator Glen Larson (also the man behind Galactica:1980) simultaneously provided audiences another strange superhero series in 1983: Automan! I'll confess, I've always enjoyed Automan more than Manimal. It had a certain campy charm, whereas Manimal - played woefully straight - is one of the most bizarre superhero TV shows of all time.

Obviously, audiences hated it and the critics despised Manimal. It ran on NBC's Friday night for a few weeks but was mauled by Dallas. Then it moved to Saturdays when The Rousters got cancelled. Guess what sunk Manimal and The Rousters?

The Love Boat...

CULT TV FLASHBACK #19: Galactica: 1980

Who says all cult TV flashbacks are good ones?

Today, the "re-imagined" Battlestar Galactica is a (modest) hit on the Sci-Fi Channel, but as long time fans of the outer space franchise will recall, this isn't the first series to attempt to recapture the magic of the 1978-1979 original starring Richard Hatch, Lorne Greene and Dirk Benedict. There is another chapter in the Galactica's history...

In fact, it was January 1980 when a short-lived series called Galactica:1980 appeared on ABC.

I'll never forget opening an issue of TV Guide and seeing the black-and-white advertisement that heralded the news: Galactica had found Earth. The ad revealed two generic Colonial Warriors looming over an Earth city, like giants. This was my first cause for suspicion and cynicism: the two warriors were generic enough that they could have been Apollo and Starbuck. Or not. I began to get a sinking feeling: would any Galactica show be worthwhile without those who had starred in the previous series?

I watched with excitement and trepidation on Sunday, January 27, 1980, as the first installment of a three-part episode "Galactica Discovers Earth" aired. As I feared, there had been a lot of weird and unnecessary changes (although at least - in fairness - Starbuck wasn't a woman, Tigh wasn't a drunk, Apollo didn't hate his Dad, Boomer wasn't a woman, and the Cylons hadn't become T-100s...).

The series picked up twenty yahrens after the original show, as a bearded Commander Adama (Lorne Greene again) is counseled by a teenaged genius named Dr. Zee (Robbie Rist). It turns out, Earth is nearby, but does not possess the technology to defend itself against a Cylon attack. In other words, the shining quest is over and the Galactica has come a long way for nothing. Worse, with the Cylons in pursuit, Adama has merely led the exterminating machines to one more human outpost...

Proving his theory, Zee shows Adama a speculative film of what the destruction of the Earth would look like at Cylon hands (or pulsar cannons). Want to know what it looks like? Conveniently, just like stock footage from the Universal movie Earthquake (1976) only with Cylon ships superimposed over the action. Every time a building in L.A. is about to crumble (from the earthquake), instead a blue Cylon blast hits it, making it look like a laser salvo. Cheap isn't the word for this sequence. It's insulting.

The mattes in the Los Angeles attack scene are terrible too. Black lines are visible around the strafing craft at all times, scale fluctuates, and the black hooks used in the motion control process are visible on the tails of the Cylon ships throughout. It all looks slapped together to make a quick buck.

Welcome to Galactica: 1980.

From there, the series involved Adama and his grand-son Boxey - re-named Troy - trying to figure out a way to bring Earth technology up to speed so it can resist a Cylon attack. Adama and Zee want to do this by secretly delivering Colonial technology to kindly scientists (like the Brady Bunch's Robert Reed...) but a renegade scientist among the fleet, Xavier, is impatient. He believes he could travel back in time and alter Earth's history so that it will be ready now, in 1980, to assist. The premise (not counting the time travel angle...)was basically a variation on The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951): advanced aliens interact with humans to offer superior technology and peaceful co-existence.

Maybe that's not the best premise in the cosmos. Maybe it's not even particularly promising. But it certainly seems that it could have been workable, right? But where Galactica:1980 failed rather dramatically was in executing the premise

To wit, the first episode found Colonial Warriors Troy and Dillon riding space-age motorcycles that could actually fly, a ludicrous concept again made even worse by bad rear-projection and process work. They battled with a motorcycle gang, and there were lots of double takes and foolish reaction shots as the Colonials flew off into the sky...

If that wasn't bad enough, succeeding episodes were actually not that good. The second story, "The Super Scouts," found Troy and Dillon rescuing a group of Colonial children (ugh!) and hiding them on Earth as boy/girl scouts (ugh! ugh!). The children had little devices which could render them invisible (ugh! ugh! ugh!). Also, Earth's gravity rendered Galacticans super power and strength so they could jump like the Six-Million Dollar Man or Bionic Woman (ugh! ugh! ugh! ugh!). The story was a meditation on the dangers of pollution but it was really just playtime for the kiddies. One scene depicted the invisible children tossing apples at corrupt local policemen.

What treasures laid ahead for Galactica:1980 after this triumph? "Spaceball" -an episode I refer to as Chariot of the Gods meets The Bad News Bears (1976). This tale found the super scouts playing baseball at a camp for underprivileged children! Just image what wacky fun that was! Then came "The Night the Cylons Landed" on April 13 and April 20th 1980, which found the Cylons (led by an android named Andromus) crashing on Earth and seeking the help of guest star Wolfman Jack to "phone home" to the Empire.

The final episode of the series (the sixth story...) aired on May 4, 1980. It was called "The Return of Starbuck" and was a flashback story that saw guest star Dirk Benedict back as Lt. Starbuck. Stranded on an alien planet, he befriends a Cylon named "Cy" and helped a strange woman named Angela (Chapman), who is actually Dr. Zee's mother, get back to the fleet. As bad as this no doubt sounds, it was about a hundred times better than any other episode of Galactica:1980, a series that re-used all the props of the original 1978 space adventure but had none of the heart.

The science fiction press was not kind. "If Galactica fans were expecting the worst when the sequel arrived in 1980, they certainly weren't disappointed," wrote Epilog Magazine in 1993. "The stories were a complete waste of time" opined Michael Cassutt in The Best of Science Fiction Television (Harmony; 1987). And TV Zone called the show "an embarrassing, child-oriented mess." (June 1995, page 5).

I'm afraid Galactica:1980 finds no additional love from me, even in retrospect. Indeed, I was a ten-year old kid in 1980, and even at that age, I was insulted. This was, perhaps, my first exposure with the idea that entertainment I loved could be corrupted and destroyed by the very people who had crafted superior material. To put it bluntly, by my reckoning, Galactica:1980 is the nadir of televised sci-fi. Indulging in fan hyperbole..it was the worst show. EVER.

If you want to see for yourself just how bad Galactica:1980 is, please feel free. It's airing on the Sci-Fi Channel this Thursday morning (April 6). I recommend you watch it. Because if we don't remember history, we're doomed to repeat it.

Back from the Grave and Ready to Party

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

My thanks to all the readers who communicated here and privately about the medical crisis demanding my attention. There were some tough days last week, but the situation is better. My family is doing well, and getting stronger every day.

So, here I am. Ready to get this show on the road again...

A Note About the Blog:

Dear friends and readers,

Posts are going to be sparse around here for the next week or so. I will be away from the blog and out-of-state because of a family medical emergency. I'll be back on the job in early April.

In the meantime, I hope not too many readers will stay away for long. In lieu of fresh material, please explore those archives on the right; there are many TV, movie and toy flashbacks to enjoy...and some Saturday morning cult tv blogging too. Remember Push: Nevada? Logan's Run: The Series? Well, if so, check out my episode-by-episode posts.

So please, plan on returning to the blog in about a week's time...I have lots of new material and exciting surprises planned for the months ahead as Reflections on Film and TV approaches its one year anniversary on April 17. Some very exciting career announcements and site news are pending. One of these days, I may even finish Star Wars blogging...

Thanks for stopping by and sharing this space with me these last months. I've enjoyed your company.

Live long and prosper.

Sincerely,
John Kenneth Muir

Second Star to the Right...and straight on till morning.

Okay, Admirals and Captains, here's the question this week. You're commanding a top-of-the-line starship (NCC-1701-A). Your robot side-kick (R2-D2) is at your side, the irritating kid is at the helm, and your CMO is getting testy. But the universe is your oyster. What course coordinates do you provide the helm? In other words, where do you take the ship for its shakedown cruise? Destination?

Going back into film and TV history, there are number of interesting worlds to visit. Let's start with Forbidden Planet. We could follow Captain Adams and see how Dr. Morbius is doing on Altair, right? Just be certain to erect a security forcefield around the landing site, since Monsters from the Id are known to wander the deserts by night. That's a negative, but a bonus is that we could stop by the underground and get a Krell brain boost. Also, Robby the Robot provides ship-to-settlement shuttle service. Perhaps you prefer Metaluna?

Star Trek probably provided more interesting planetary destinations than any TV show in history. Remember that favorite campfire tune, "Moon over Rigel VII?" We could head to Rigel. Or, if we're in the mood for a sun burn and heat stroke (hence the phrase "hot as Vulcan"), we could head to Spock's home planet. Make sure you bring Tri-ox compound.

If time travel is more your game, we could visit the planet of the Guardian of Forever. Let's just be really careful not to corrupt the time line. Or, if you don't feel particularly adventurous today, there's always any number of starbases where we could relax and get some well-earned R & R.

The dangerous, trippy universe of Space:1999 could provide some interesting destinations too. I hear that the foliage on planet Luton is quite beautiful this time of year. Just don't pick the berries, or the Judges of Luton will pass judgment on you.

If you're in the mood to visit a casino, in the universe of Battlestar Galactica you can find one on the planet called Carillon. There's a Tylium fuel facility there too. Need directions? Leave the Colonies, and keep heading straight through the Nova of Madagon. You may need to clear a mine-field, however. Oh, and word to the wise: the casino on Carillon provides great food and entertainment, but beware the lodgings. For some reason, all the elevators take you straight down to the lower levels...

Maybe you're a scholar and really into galactic history, and would like to visit the recently restored moisture farm on Tatooine, belonging to the most famous family in galactic history, The Skywalkers. Once upon a time (long, long ago, actually) Anakin Skywalker brought down our beloved Republic, but his son, Luke, restored it. While you're visiting the homestead, be sure to visit the small grave out beyond the encampment. It's hard to find a good restaurant, nearby - be warned. Mos Eisley? You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Finally, maybe you'd like to go break a friend out of prison. If he's not at Rura Penthe (a.k.a. "The alien's graveyard..."), there's a good chance he's incarcerated in Fiorona 161 (a.k.a. "the ass end of space.") The prisoners there are generally well-behaved, but the facility stinks. It's a maximum security prison with no weapons whatsoever, so set those phasers to stun. Also, there's some kind of xenomorph pest problem...

Seriously, this post would go on forever because every TV and film space adventure worth its salt has featured fascinating planetary destinations. Don't limit yourself. There's Skaro, Eminiar VII, Naboo, Draconia, Dagobah, LV-426, Ceti Alpha V, The Genesis Planet, the Planet of the Apes, Gallifrey, Arrakis, and more. You name it! But lucky you, sir....you can only pick one. The warp engines are standing by.

Awaiting your orders. Course heading, admiral?

CATNAP #36: Sleepy Daze

Cold weather has returned to the South, and the cats are glum. Last week the windows and screen doors in the house were open, and the felines were peppy & care free. This week, the heat is running, and the cats are in full hibernation mode. Ezri and Lily have even put aside their differences for the sake of body heat, and are sharing a blanket...

SATURDAY MORNING CULT TV BLOGGING: Land of the Lost: "Downstream"

How many Saturday morning TV shows in the 1970s had episodes written by the great science fiction author, Larry Niven? Or saw their dramatis personae face death week-in and week-out? Or made knowing jokes about mushrooms with hallucinogenic properties? Or pondered such ideas as a "closed universe" - a so-called "locked room in space?"

Well, the Star Trek animated series was pretty impressive, but I was thinking of another show, actually. These are just a few of the reasons, I believe, why Land of the Lost has continued to impress and convert new fans for thirty-two years. Sure, it's a kid's show with 1970s special effects, but there's something convincing, even adult, about the show's consistent approach to drama and science fiction.

Take the fourth episode of the first season, this week's installment, "Downstream." It's authored by Larry Niven, and finds the Marshall family seeking to escape the Land of the Lost by building a raft and heading downstream. The plan is to take the swamp to the river and - sooner or later - reach the ocean. The family flees on its make-shift raft, says its goodbyes to Grumpy and Dopey, and heads off, only to find a waterfall ahead. The family barely manages to escape to a subterranean cavern before their raft is destroyed.

There, in the cavern, the Marshalls discover Jefferson Davis Colley III (Walker Edmiston), a Civil War soldier, from the Confederate Army. He (and his cannon) have been prospecting a jeweled cavern. Thus this is the episode that introduces the Land of the Lost's power source: those colored crystals that power the matrix tables in upcoming episodes and can provide a light source or explosive, depending on how they are used in combination. The discovery of this natural resource is an element of Land of the Lost's ongoing and recurring environmental theme. This closed universe, a microcosm for Earth, possesses everything it needs for its denizens, if only the resources are allocated wisely. The Marshalls will become the stewards of the land in upcoming episodes, maintaining balance and keeping the land harmonious, but the hardest thing about this task is dealing with other people (Paku and Sleestak, respectively), those who have a different philosophy about how the resources should be shared and allocated.

Anyway, Jefferson keeps the Marshalls hostage for a time, and Rick points out to him the error of his ways. "You fought a war because you didn't want other people telling you what to do," he reminds the Confederate, pointing out his hypocrisy. And that's the sermon for the day.

"Downstream" also features some great, under the surface humor that no doubt went over the heads of many youngsters. Colley takes one look at the Marshalls and says "There are some mighty strange folk in California," a joke about the West Coast and the Entertainment Industry. There's also a joke about television. Will complains while prospecting that he hasn't seen a TV show in a long time and Marshall quips that it doesn't seem to have done him any harm. And later, Marshall makes a funny reference to drugs. "Some mushrooms have funny chemicals," he informs Will and Holly. Indeed, Rick Marshall. Indeed.

The best element of this episode is the ending, which finds the Marshalls discovering precisely where the river ends: where it started. There is no escape from the Land of the Lost. It's a pocket universe with no end and no beginning. There's no way out. Again, this seems like a fairly advanced concept for a time bloc in which marketers were selling Cocoa-Puffs. But that's why I like Land of the Lost. It's easy to dismiss the show as kid's stuff, but there's more going on in this series than in many adult series from the same era.

Guess the Movie # 8

I don't know. I'm starting to have doubts about my ability to stump the movie-savvy readership here. I admit it, you're all very, very good. Last week, for instance, Robert H. correctly recognized that the #7 "guess the movie" still came from The Final Conflict: Omen III starring Sam Neill, a 1981 film.

So this week, I'm digging deep into my treasure trove of archive photos. Let's see who can guess this one...

RETRO TOY FLASHBACK # 34: Captain Kirk

Would you think any less of me if I admitted that I worship...idols? Well, one idol in particular. You know his name.

Say it now with me: James. Tiberius. Kirk. Captain of the starship Enterprise. Hero of the classic TV series, Star Trek.

I've written on this blog before about my man-sized hetero-love for William Shatner - a paragon of a man, a God among actors, and a fellow who's changed the world (at least according to the History Channel). But truth be told, it's Captain Kirk that I really and truly admire, deep down.

He's been my hero since I was old enough to hold my head up and gaze at the TV. Sometimes, my wife is baffled by my admiration for Kirk, since he can be pissy ("The Man Trap"), arrogant ("The Trouble with Tribbles") and irritating too. She doesn't get the hero worship, and actually, I do think that Kirk is more appealing to men as a role model, than to women in real life (though on the TV show, he has no problem with women...).

Maybe it's something about being in his presence instead of seeing him on TV. When my wife and I saw Shatner at a con here in Charlotte in 1994, she practically drooled. She won't admit it, but she did. I know. I saw, Kathryn. I saw...

Let's look at Captain Kirk for a minute. He's a brilliant leader who inspires his crew; he has the coolest friends in the galaxy (Spock and Bones) and has earned their unfailing, unswerving loyalty; he also commands a starship and is an experienced explorer, soldier and diplomat. Even more to the point, Kirk is a man of reason, sensitivity and great fairness. He's also good in a fight.

How can you not love Kirk? To me he's everything a renaissance man should be; my ideal role model. More so than Picard, who who can occasionally be dull, and, frankly, doesn't have the combat chops that Kirk does. I like to make this contrast between the two characters:

In Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984), Kirk has "appropriated" the Enterprise, which is manned by a skeleton crew. He has no reason to outright suspect foul play in the Genesis sector, but the U.S.S. Grissom isn't responding to hails, and his antennae are up. A distortion in space is noted by Sulu, and Kirk makes the (correct) assumption that the distortion is a cloaked Klingon vessel. When by all rights the Klingons seem to have the advantage, Kirk fires photon torpedoes and gets the first strike in on the Bird of Prey while it's still decloaking. It's amazing.

Now, Picard in Generations commands the Federation flagship manned by a full crew. An unknown assailant has attacked an array, a Federation facility in space, so this captain should be ready for combat. A Klingon Bird of Prey de-cloaks (notice Picard didn't detect it like Kirk did before hand...) and Picard's baffled, ineffective reaction is simply one word, after Worf reports the enemy's presence. "What?" Come on! That sucks.

Kirk rules.

Anyway, this is a toy flashback, not just a blatant fan appreciation, so this week I'm highlighting all the Captain Kirk action figures I've owned over the years. Playing with these guys, you just gotta hope some of that Shatner magic rubs off. You'll find in my collection the Mego Kirk from the 1970s, from the Original Series days (Kirk's heyday). Also, I have the Knickerbocker plush Kirk toy. As much as I love and admire Jim Kirk, I've never felt like I want to cuddle him, however.

Then, I also have this rare Galoob Captain Kirk figure from Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. I know a lot of people hate this movie, but to me, Kirk's in fine form here, leading an assault on Paradise City, wrestling with cat women, and then asking the Almighty Himself: "What does God need with a starship?" Only the greatest hero in the Alpha Quadrant would ask the Almighty for his I.D.

Playmates released a number of Captain Kirk specialty action figures over the 1990s, including one wherein the good captain is wearing casual 1930s clothes (from the episode "City on the Edge of Forever.") The company also released a version of Captain Kirk in a space suit; from a scene that was cut from Generations (1994).

If you ask me, the biggest mistake the Star Trek franchise ever made was killing of Captain Kirk at the end of Generations. He died saving billions of innocent people (whom we never met...) on a planet which we never saw...), which was a noble way to take a bow, but just look at Shatner today on Boston Legal. He's tanned, rested and ready to take the center seat. Just think, we could have had ten more years of Captain Kirk on Star Trek, had Paramount done things a little differently.

I think the best way to continue Star Trek now is to return Captain Kirk to active duty. I want to see him in action again.

How about you?

Collectible of the Week # 2: Alien Board Game!

As if a sign from above, this morning, one of my displays fell from a high shelf, and the Kenner board game from the 1979 Ridley Scott movie Alien crashed with a thud on my desktop (in the process, scuttling my Buck Rogers in the 25th Century Star Fighter model...).

I decided this unfortunate event was an omen, and figured I should write about the game today, even though I usually blog about toys on Thursday.

I was just turned ten years old in December of 1979, when Alien was released nationwide in theaters, and though my ten-year old best friend and next door neighbor went to go see it, the movie was R-rated and my parents wouldn't take me. I think they were right, by the way -- I was too young.

Anyhow, my buddy came back from a showing of the film around Christmas and then went on and on telling me all kinds of cool things about the movie I couldn't see. Making it worse, one of my aunts also saw the movie and regaled me with tales about how it was the scariest movie she had ever seen.

Hoping to be a part of the club, I collected the trading cards. I even read the Alan Dean Foster novelization. But I didn't actually get to see Alien for myself till it came out on videotape, years later (1983? 1984?).

Still, by 1980, I did get to play the board game, which you see here before you.

The first thing you may notice is that the alien depicted on the box cover (the photo with the blue background) is not an image or still from the Scott film, but a photograph of the Kenner Alien toy! Why? Because the alien depicted in the film was simply too scary to put on a kid's toy box cover! Even funnier, this action figure toy also scared a bunch of kids my age, and was very quickly pulled from toy store shelves when outraged parents protested. I guess that's what happens when you make toy merchandise for an R-rated, balls-to-the-walls horror flick...

The Alien Game (for two to four players; ages 7 and up) is billed as "an exciting game of elimination and escape." The contents of the game include 16 playing tokens, an instruction sheet, a gameboard and dice. And the objective (as you maybe can read in the photo, if the image is clear enough) is to "be the first player to guide one of your crew members through the mother ship to the safety of the escape pod, Narcissus."

The game also urges players to "recreate the suspenseful terror of the new Space Thriller, ALIEN! Use luck and strategy to defend your astronauts from deadly ALIEN forces."

I've always collected board games, but this one was one I actually played. I remember sitting with friends, gazing at the game board and dreaming of one day seeing that scary movie. You know, by the time I saw Alien, I had imagined and fantasized so much - so many awful, disgusting things - that I wasn't even really that scared of it...

Before long, I did move on from the Alien board game to another one. A fifth-grade friend had the board game of Escape from New York (1981), and it was way cool too...because you got to land a glider on the top of the World Trade Center, and recuse the President of the United States. Ah, fickle youth...