Ed
McMahon and many notable guests -- super-villains and superheroes alike -- roast
the D.C. superheroes at their subterranean lair.
Among
those doing the roasting are:
-
“The Weather Wizard,” a villain who makes it rain on The
Flash, and does a (bad) Johnny Carson imitation.
-
Hawkman’s Mother, who notes that her son is not a “homing pigeon,” and that he should visit
his mother more often.
-
Ghetto Man, an African-American superhero who
points out that The Green Lantern is also a “colored” person.
-
Dr. Silvana, who tries to give all the
superheroes their physical exams, but in particular wants to examine the
Huntress’s “quiver.”
-
The Scarlet Cyclone, now “Retired Man,” an old
superhero who is suffering from dementia.
-
Solomon Grundy, a hulking swamp zombie who beats
up Ed McMahon, while the superheroes look on and laugh.
-
Sinestro, who shoots himself in the foot
with his own power ring.
-
And
Aunt Minerva, the “Zsa Zsa Gabor” of villains who desires to
marry (the quite unwilling) Captain Marvel.
There’s
no getting around the fact that Legends of the Superheroes (1979) is
a terrible, embarrassingly bad, no-good relic from the disco decade.
The
first episode, “The Challenge” is a low-budget train wreck that demeans its stars and
characters (the JLA, basically), but at least it lands the superheroes in a fantasy/adventure
format. In other words, they do what superheroes
are expected to do: solve a crime, or prevent a fiendish super-villain plot from
coming to fruition.
“The
Roast,” the second and final installment of the series, doesn’t’ have even that
going for it. It is much, much worse than “The Challenge.” In fact, it’s cringe-worthy.
As
the title suggests, the episode is structured as a "Friar's Roast" type event. It's a roast (grilling) of the superheroes in
their underground headquarters as they are “honored” by arch villains.
Ed
McMahon is the host of the proceedings.
How
could DC Comics -- or Hanna Barbera, for
that matter -- ever have agreed to treat the Justice League so shabbily?
The variety-style program is not just embarrassingly bad, like The Star
Wars Holiday Special of 1978, but actually racist, sexist and ageist in
execution.
Let’s
go to Ghetto Man first, to explore the racist angle.
He is an African-American
man in a costume designed to reek "pimp" who is a walking stereotype of 70’s “black” jokes. His
shtick is terrible (“Hawkman in Harlem” would be “Kentucky Fried” chicken, he says),
and his delivery is worse. Somewhere in "Ghetto Man's" presentation is the (correct) idea
that minority characters were largely under-represented in the superhero Valhalla, but
the valid point is lost in the racially-charged and largely offensive monologue.
Scarlet
Cyclone, another subject roasted proves that this series doesn’t like old people, either. The senior
citizen hero falls asleep in the middle of a story, can’t remember his next line,
and is the butt of a lot of bad jokes. The jokes here, following those of "Ghetto man" make one "The Roast" seem awfully mean-spirited.
And
don’t even get me started on Aunt Minerva an old, diminutive women who wants to
bed the terrified Captain Marvel. When the sex-obsessed old maid changes form and becomes a lovely
young woman, however, Captain Marvel changes his tune in short order.
If
that sounds a bit kinky and adult, consider the sequence here in which a
Barbara Walters-like reporter -- named Rhoda Rooter -- jokes about Atom and
Giganta’s sex life. He's tiny and she's huge. Get it?
All I can writer here is, simply: WTF?
It’s
all skin-crawlingly inappropriate, and a total coarsening and cheapening of
characters who have been beloved for generations. Perhaps there was no budget available
to tell a superhero-styled story, but “The Roast” is so campy that it makes the
Adam West Batman series of 1966 look like a serious, straight-forward affair.
It’s
always nice to see Adam West and Burt Ward back in character, but their
story-line here -- which involves the Boy Wonder wrecking the Batmobile -- is hardly
the stuff dreams are made off.
More
like a nightmare.
Soup on sticks, baby!
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