Monster
Squad (1976
- 1977) -- not to be confused with the late 1980s movie, The Monster Squad (1987) --
is a one-season Saturday morning series developed by Stanley Ralph Ross, one of
the key writers of the Adam West Batman (1966 – 1969) series.
Like
Batman,
Monster Squad’s style is high-camp, meaning that all the heroes face
their various crises with melodramatic solemnity, a solemnity that plays to
adults as funny but kids as serious.
Also
like Batman,
Monster Squad is famous for its rogue’s gallery of celebrity villains. Some of the actors who wore crazy get-ups and
twirled their metaphorical mustaches on the program included Julie Newmar as “Ultra
Witch” and Jonathan Harris as “the Astrologer.”
Briefly
stated, the premise of Monster Squad is that a young and
hopelessly earnest criminologist, Walter (Fred Grandy) has developed a fantastically
advanced crime computer at the Chamber of Horrors exhibit in the basement of
Fred’s Wax Museum. This large-scale computer can rise out of a sarcophagus
platform when in operation, and features a “secret government” channel and
radio transmitter.
One
day however, the “oscillating vibrations” of Walter’s crime computer awaken
three of the museum’s figures, Dracula (Henry Polic II), the Frankenstein
Monster (Michael Lane) and The Wolfman (Buck Kartalian). These figures are
apparently the real deal, resurrected, and not merely wax representations of
them. However, it is never explained why
the wax museum was housing the bodies of such dangerous monsters.
Regardless
of their precise nature, these three “monsters” from history wish to atone for
their sins by solving crimes with Walter, and thereby making reparations to
society.
With
Walt operating out of the Chamber of Horrors, Dracula, The Wolfman and The
Frankenstein Monster are thus frequently dispatched -- in a black 1970s van --
to combat evil-doers around the city.
The
first episode of Monster Squad, “Queen Bee” -- which aired on NBC the morning of
September 11, 1976 -- stars Alice Ghostley as the insect matriarch, the
aforementioned Queen Bee. As the episode commences, she has ordered her bee
minions around the world to attack unsuspecting humans. This “unexplained
rash of bee stings” is noticed by Walt, who captures a bee and attempts to
interrogate it with the Crime Computer.
One
will notice here that the Crime Computer has a slot designed and labeled for
insect analysis. This makes one wonder how often evil bugs show up in town…
After
a time, Walt frees the bee, and Dracula tracks it in bat-form to Queen Bee’s
headquarters. There, he and his monster must stop the Queen Bee’s plans before
the United Nations can surrender the world to her.
The
1970s represents the great era of “killer bee” entertainment, from the movies Invasion
of the Bee Girls (1973) and The Swarm (1978) to TV series such
as The
Starlost (1973-1974) which featured an episode about giant bees called “The
Beehive.”
In
terms of “Queen Bee,” the Monster Squad episode reports about
the South American killer bee briefly, but otherwise conjures up little in
terms of fact. Instead, the installment
features about a hundred bad “bee” puns for Ghostley and her buzzing
minions.
“I
bee-seech you,” says one
character. “Bee-ware your fate,” says another.
After
a while, we also get “bee-lieve me,” “bee-guiling,” “bee-wildering,” “bee-headed,”
“bee-trothal,” “bee-tray” and other variations on the theme. One non -“bee” joke is Queen Bee’s comment
that one of her minions always “bumbles.”
As
you can probably guess, this witless approach grows tiring after a while,
though it anticipates the approach to Mr. Freeze in Batman and Robin
(1997). The episode -- like all Monster
Squad episodes -- plays as particularly arched, and not overly amusing. Everyone is in on the joke, but the joke isn’t
as amusing as it is on Batman, and this Saturday morning
series also lacks the resources, and hence production values of that camp
classic. For instance, here Dracula is
put in a vat of honey, and the vat is a tiny little barrel.
Viewers
who were kids in the 1970s may be most interested here to see a Mego toy
re-painted and used as a prop in “Queen Bee.”
Ghostley’s “bee” communicator is actually a Star Trek walkie-talkie
from the age, but painted gold. The prop
-- with a different paint job -- recurs as Walt’s crime computer remote control
in the next episode, “Mr. Mephisto.”
Although
Monster
Squad doesn’t hold up particularly well-today, I remember that I
absolutely loved it as a seven year old, and that I wished and hoped for action
figures, playsets and other toys featuring these lovable and familiar monsters.
There was, as memory services, a board game available at one time.
As
bad as some of these episodes are, the opening theme song and introductory
montage still provide me a nice kick of nostalgia…
Next
week: “Mr. Mephisto.”
As a boy in '76, I do remember watching Monster Squad. The next season Fred Grandy would be cast on the long running LOVE BOAT abc prime time series. I also wonder if the late '80s MONSTER SQUAD movie was a reboot of this series.
ReplyDeleteSGB
This is my Monster Squad!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/11956/the-monster-squad-game The Monster Squad Game, 1977, Milton Bradley.
ReplyDelete