Reader Top Ten Greatest Toys of Childhood: Cannon

The incomparable blogger and film scholar Cannon shares with us his list of the ten greatest (or seven greatest…) toys from his childhood.

Cannon writes:

“I could only clearly recall seven total.

7. Super Soaker 100

This was to a prepubescent and/or young adolescent of the early 90s what your standard issue rifle is to a Marine. It was just, always there. An everyday way of life. The SS 100 (along with the accompanying pistol-sized 50) was the first serious water gun. Not a mere squirt gun, mind you, but a pressurized water gun. It was technologically advanced pump-action.

6. The ThunderCats Castle

The head-piece statue of the castle, from behind, doubled as a swiveling gun turret with a battery operated red beam that shot-out from the mouth. It was sweet.

5. Matchbox Voltron

Not that Panosh Place plastic imitation; we’re talking the original 1984 version. It was so metal, both literally and figuratively. It was big, had real weight (i.e. importance) and it was operational; it *snapped* and *clicked* together. The die-cast was cool to the touch. It felt sexy.

4. Barnyard Commandos

I related to these toys because, frankly, they were just weird and unruly. They were misfits. The idea of farm animals comically anthropomorphized by radiation into macho paratroopers equipped with insane combat arsenal indicated a kind of 'all-bets-off' sensibility. Soft, hollow, non-poseable plastic (like Rubber Duckys) also made them extremely durable: I could hit one over my house with a baseball bat–zero damage.  

3. Ninja Turtles

As in, 'Teenage Mutant'. Yes, Turtle-mania. I was there. I lived it, man. By now it’s easy to forget just how wild a proposition Ninja Turtles were upon an unsuspecting mass culture, how the very four word name initially invoked 'WTF?!' reactions. While I enjoyed the various themed incarnations of the action figures throughout the early 90s, what I cherished most was the original series set featuring character designs still based on the 1984 comics, with those solid white eyes and grimacing faces.       

2. Panthor

Where He-Man had Battle Cat, Skeletor had Panthor. The Battle Cat toy was cool and all, but Panthor was covered with a fine, felt-like fuzz of vibrant purple. He was exotic. He coulda just as easily been Prince’s feline companion of choice. I loved my Panthor toy so much that he quickly attained the level of Free Agent, meaning he could mix in with any other random toys outside the confines of Masters of the Universe, or that I would play with him solo, on his own adventures and as his own character, though he always retained the name of Panthor.   

1. Lazer Tag

Check out this link for a retrospective of Lazer Tag.

Cannon: Your list brings back a lot of great memories for me, though you are probably a full-decade -- or more -- younger than this old geezer!  I actually have a Matchbox Voltron that I bought for Joel a couple of years back.  It's on display in our family room, along with his MegaZord and Brave Fighter of Sun Figh Bird collection (now there's a mouthful...).  

I have been trying to get my hands on an affordable Cat's Lair playset for Joel but it's virtually impossible. He's asked for it once or twice, but seems to understand how much vintage toys can cost, which is good.

Until your post, I had totally forgotten Barnyard Commandos.  I remember seeing those in stores and thinking they were really weird...but cool.

Fantastic list, my friend.  Thanks for sharing it with the blog...