Saturday Morning Cult-TV Blogging: Monster Squad "Albert/Alberta" (1976)

In “Albert/Alberta” the Monster Squad combats a villain who is half-man/half-woman: Albert/Alberta (Vito Scotti).

This nefarious fiend is using a highly-advanced laser weapon to melt the polar ice and cause a second great flood. 

Meanwhile, he plans to convert his ship, the Mezzo-Mezzo, into an ark carrying two of every animal species…including vampire bats and werewolves.

Dracula and the Wolf Man sneak aboard Albert/Alberta’s ship and attempt to reverse the melting of the ice, but they are captured and Albert/Alberta plans to tear them asunder inside his weird device, “The Great Divider.”

Fortunately, it’s Frankenstein to the rescue…

Monster Squad (1976) comes to an end with Victor/Victoria…er “Albert/Alberta.”  The episode is the same sort of nonsense we have been treated to in previous weeks: an unimaginative, thoroughly derivative regurgitation of Batman’s high-camp TV adventures, right down to the threat of the week (in this case, the Great Divider), the notable villain, and the final tussle.

I’ll be honest, re-watching all thirteen episodes of Monster Squad in 2014 has been a bit of a chore, but I wanted to do it because I loved the show in 1976, and felt it was great that the long-forgotten Saturday morning series was getting a DVD release. 

I appreciate all the performers on the show -- particularly the actors who play the monsters -- because they gave the production their all, even when the props department, the sets, and the writers let them down.  I especially like Henry Polic II as Dracula.  He’s always been my favorite performer on the series, and despite the high camp, his take as the count is indeed memorable.

If you watched Monster Squad back in the 1970s, I recommend that instead of watching the series from start to finish, you instead rely on your no-doubt foggy memories and affection of the series. Pick out two shows, perhaps, to revisit.  I would recommend “Ultra Witch” (with Julie Newmar) and perhaps “The Tickler.”  If you’ve seen one episode of Monster Squad, you’ve pretty much seen them all, so try to pick the top of the formulaic heap…


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