Saturday, December 23, 2006


This week on Filmation's Ark II, Jonah records log entries numbered 74 and 75 in Sector 18, Area 93. They crew has heard rumors of an "old battleground" nearby, and their mission is to "check it out" and make certain that "nothing dangerous still exists."

While Adam navigates the vehicle (yeah, he's the monkey...), he spots a girl, Jewel (Bonnie Van Dyke) being captured by Scavengers. "Man chase girl. Girl run away," Adam croaks. This gives me the creeps.

But anyway, the Ark II team also spies a World War I era tank in this "Valley of Machines," and it is being driven by Zachery (Chris Nelson), a villager who - like all his people - has been forbidden from using machinery.

In the agrarian village, Jonah and the others tell the Village leader (Marshall Thompson) about his daughter's abduction. He is distrustful of machines, but Jonah tries to set him straight. "Machines are just tools," he says. "Good and bad exists in the men who use those tools."

Indeed, Jonah. Indeed.

So Jonah, Ruth, Adam and Samuel, with Zachery and the old tank, set about to rescue Jewel, and succeed in doing so. When asked why Jonah didn't just use the Ark II to save the captured girl, he replies that he wanted the village leader to see that other machines -- those in the valley - have value in the right hands.

And that's the sermon for the day. So what do we learn about the Ark II universe this week? Well, Ruth declares, "We don't carry weapons....we don't believe in them." This is interesting, because even the Star Trek crews carry defensive weaponry - phasers - in landing party excursions. The Ark II crew really sticks to the philosophy of non-violence. Their tools include a force field on the Ark II, but no guns. And the only "device" they carry (other than wrist communicators) is a mirror that can "blind" opponents at appropriate times. Very interesting.

Also, for some reason, that damn monkey is always depicted cooking the meals for the crew. You gotta wonder why such an advanced group of youngsters allow an unwashed chimpanzee handle the foodstuffs, but who am I to quibble? Personally, I don't think this is really a sanitary practice, but then it isn't my ship.

One other fact: the Ark II lab is able to synthesize gasoline and other fuels, as we learn in this episode of the series. Which would make it very dangerous if it fell into the wrong hands.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

MOVIE REVIEW: Casino Royale (2006)

Wow. Okay. I guess there's no point in pussy-footing (or Pussy-galoring...) around my point here. So I'm just going to say it.

Daniel Craig is the best James Bond 007 yet. And Casino Royale is in the top tier of Bond movies. Perhaps the very best film since From Russia with Love in the early 1960s. It might be the best Bond film yet.

There, I said it. Fire away!

Now, if you read this blog regularly, you've seen me fight the good fight against re-imaginations, pre-quels and re-boots. You've read as I've railed against MI:3, Battlestar Galactica and other new productions that I feel have betrayed the heritage of their respective franchises.

That's why I hope you'll trust me (and go see the movie...) when I write these words: Daniel Craig is the best James Bond yet. His portrayal doesn't betray the James Bond legacy. It restores it.

This praise is coming from a guy who saw his first Bond film in the theater thirty years ago, in 1976 (Roger Moore in The Spy Who Loved Me). This is from a guy who holds all the Bond films close to his heart, and has watched them and analyzed them countless times over the years. In the past, my favorite Bond was - surprise, surprise - Sean Connery, with Timothy Dalton second, Roger Moore third, and Pierce Brosnan last.

Well, move over Sean. Meet Daniel. Or should I say Bond, James Bond...

I guess it was some time in the late 1970s or early 1980s when ABC began running all the Sean Connery movies on Friday nights. I was in my early teens, and while I was already familiar with Roger Moore, this was my first chance to meet the other Bonds (including George Lazenby). It was also at this time that seeing the films (like Dr. No and Goldfinger) inspired me to read all the original novels by Ian Fleming. I was hooked.

Suddenly, I had a context for Bond. I now understood why longtime Bond fans had a tough time with the inanities of - say - Moonraker (1979). Then, in 1987, Roger Moore left the film franchise and the far more lean-and-mean Timothy Dalton replaced him in The Living Daylights. He was closer to the Bond of the books than any actor yet, but the producers made a terrible mistake. They didn't change the formula. Meaning that the serious, wolf-like Dalton had to grit his teeth and deliver stupid one liners, or ride a cello down a hill during a chase scene, or suffer some other indignity.

The formula was altered to a degree for Dalton in Licence to Kill (a film I admire...), but the producers insisted on keeping everything else "the same," intact, even if the mission (one of vengeance) was different. This meant that Q, the Armorer was still around for easy laughs. This meant that Ms. Moneypenny had her designated five-minute cameo. This meant that Felix Leiter - nearly eaten by a shark - was recovering nicely by the end of the film. This meant that Bond was instantly forgiven for going rogue. This meant that as much as producers might have wanted to change the formula of the Bond pictures after twenty-five yers, they were - for some reason - unable to do it.

Well, now they have taken the plunge. And not a movie too soon either. Die Another Day, though undeniably profitable, must be the worst piece of trash in the Bond canon. It's the only Bond film I don't own. It is absolute garbage, filled with implausible CGI effects and saddled with the worst theme song in Bond history. James Bond, as played by Pierce Brosnan, is a big, blow-dried black hole sucking air out of the film. Even at his worst, Roger Moore at least evidenced a charm and grace; a sense that he was winking at the audience. For Your Eyes Only proved he could play the grittier side of Bond too. All Brosnan ever seemed capable of mustering was a furrowed brow and a seething kind of whisper. Worse, despite all the hotties thrown at him, I never felt that Brosnan's Bond was genuinely interested in sex (like Connery or Moore). For that matter, he didn't seem that interested in violence either (like Dalton or Lazenby...). He was just...dull. A walking model in a black tuxedo.

But Brosnan's Bond is dead and gone -- so no more criticism of the actor. Long live the new king, Daniel Craig. He boasts piercing eyes, an incredible physique, a beguiling vulnerability, and charisma to spare. He takes Casino Royale by the throat and makes the Bond franchise his a degree that is startling. This is roughly like Christopher Reeve playing Superman for the first time back in 1978. We're witnessing history here folks; the beginning of a great ride. To their credit, the producers and writers have substantially changed the Bond formula too. At long last.

How have things changed? Well, with a kind of merciless glee the producers have burned out all the fat, all the kitsch, all the camp...all the insulting stupidity that dogged the franchise. They've brought Bond right back to his literary roots and this time, without fear or hedging their bets. This is back-to-basics Bond, meaning that it is the man - Bond himself - who is important, not which gadgets he happens to be carrying at a given moment. Ultimately, that's the reason why this is a re-imagination I can get behind without qualification. This is a Bond that Ian Fleming could have imagined...And I believe, would have appreciated. He's a hard-drinking, lonely guy. Someone who borders on being a thug. Someone who makes mistakes, miscalculates, but endures...And triumphs. James Bond is not a superman, and Casino Royale remembers that. The best moments in the film occur when Bond goofs up and must fix his errors. Arrogance is his big flaw, as Bond Girl Eva Green (as Vesper Lynd) points out to him. His desperation to be successful, to win - to beat Le Chiffre - actually makes him human, vulnerable. I don't know that any other Bond film boasts as powerful a narrative through-line as this.

For years now, maybe decades even, Bond movie plots have been the thinnest of skeins, a series of robust and spectacular action set-pieces between dialogue interludes. In the age of Octopussy (1983), it felt like the stunt double should have shared equal billing with Roger Moore. No more. Casino Royale depends not merely on action (though there is plenty), but character interaction and intrigue. It's a game of chess, or more accurately, Texas Hold 'Em Poker. Every character in the film is holding some card close to the vest...And, in some sense, bluffing about their hearts. How Bond navigates this game - and gets played himself - makes the film compelling and human in a way that feels practically revolutionary in a Bond film. Who knew a 007 movie, shorn of gadgets, the stock characters (Moneypenny, Q), and ludicrous stunts, could feel so vibrant, so real? And, back in the day (the 1960s), the Bond films also boasted a sort of sadism about them: rock 'em sock 'em fight scenes that were...personal. (Anyone remember the incredible fight in the tight train car in From Russia with Love? In the elevator in Diamonds are Forever?) It was fisticuffs over stunts, and Casino Royale remembers that tradition. So no, Bond doesn't hang onto a flying blimp in this film, or surf over a tidal wave, or drive an invisible car. But he gets into a really nasty battle with a machete-wielding psycho. And by god, is that blood I see on Bond's tuxedo?

Okay, okay. The movie is not perfect. I grant you that. Tell me which Bond film is? For instance, in Casino Royale isn't it handy that Bond's car comes equipped with a portable de-fibrillator, and Bond just happens to need that particular gadget on this mssion? And near the end of the film, it slows down dramatically and as viewers, we get ahead of the writers. The film includes one ending too many, which undercuts the power of the movie's last line. But as far as Bond films go, this is still in the top two or three. Out of twenty-something. In fact, there's no significant reason not to declare it the best Bond film ever, but heck, I've only seen it once and don't want to give over to irrational exuberance. And as far as heroic re-imaginations go, this beats Batman Begins and Superman Returns by a mile.

I'm sure there are fannish reasons to dislike Daniel Craig. Blond hair and blue eyes and all. But they are, indeed, fannish reasons. I'm sure there are also loyalty issues to dislike Daniel Craig. We gravitate to what we know; what makes us comfortable. We've all lived with Sean Connery, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, even George Lazenby for a long time, and it's always tempting to say that what's new also sucks. Daniel Craig is not traditionally good-looking...but watch this guy in action and decide for yourself if he isn't EXACTLY what James Bond should be.

Maybe Sean Connery could have been the best Bond ever, had he once been granted the chance to play a character as human as Craig's Bond in a story as compelling as Casino Royale. But we'll never know...he skipped out for On Her Majesty's Secret Service. That's the one script and one story that could have proven Connery's chops on the same level. My point: the new Bond is exactly what Bond should have always been, and wasn't. Ian Fleming's James Bond.

So now we have Daniel Craig as 007. He not only delivers a brilliant, smoldering performance in this film, he does the seemingly-impossible: He makes it difficult to imagine anyone ever following in his footsteps. That's the first time this has happened since...Sean Connery.

Monday, December 18, 2006


Okay, okay so it's not Saturday morning. It's Monday. I'm a little behind the eight ball...

Anyway, this week on the 1970s series Ark II, our stalwart heroes from the 25th century are in "Area 32, Sector 16," in search of a "Stone Age" tribe that they can help. Again, the mission is to "improve the quality" of their lives.

In "The Rule" (by Martin Roth and directed by Ted Post), the Ark II finds the Stone Age people and - oops - they're hostile. They throw rocks at the advanced vehicle, but the transport is protected by "vertical" and "lateral" forcefields. Whatever that means...

Meanwhile, Ruth and Adam are out in the all-terrain vehicle, and Ruth carelessly drives it into a rock. (Women drivers...) She's rescued by a young man who is part of an agrarian community that's been menaced by the rock-throwing stone age folk. Unfortunately, the community's leader is rather draconian. He has imposed a strict "rule" that those who are infirm, sick or lazy and can therefore not pull their weight in the fields...will be exiled from the village. On this very day, he exiles a blind man and his wife from the community. His son (the kid who rescued Ruth...) also has built a primitive hang glider because he has "vision and imagination," but his Dad warns he would rather be "dull-witted." Damn! In the end, the Ark II team helps prove that nobody is worthless by defeating the bad Stone Age tribe and getting the leader to abolish his rule.

I watched this episode with two close friends, and they had some interesting notes on "The Rule." One friend noted that this is an Icarus story; that "The Rule" gazes at a kid who flies too close to the sun...and crashes his hang-glider. My other friend noted that when the boy is wounded after his firstflight, the villagers could have used his glider as a stretcher. But didn't. Oopsy.

Basically "The Rule" concerns the law of people vs. the law of the jungle, as Ruth and the other crew of Ark II convince the villagers not to be so quick to dismiss people. The message is summed up at the end: "everyone has something valuable to contribute."

I like that message, but I gotta tell you, that Village Leader is quite a political cat. When he reads the political wind, he changes his mind about "the rule" and abolishes it. (Lest he be overthrown.) And then - the gall! the gall! - in saying goodbye to the Ark II crew, he tells Ruth that "we must touch to say goodbye." That this is custom.

Oh yeah buddy, then why not embrace the monkey?