It
was the summer of my discontent. The blockbuster season of 1998 brought
lackluster revivals of two childhood favorites, Godzilla and Lost
in Space. I came away from
screening both films nurturing a belief that -- literally all at once -- Hollywood had forgotten how to make entertaining
movies based on beloved genre properties.
Yes,
Hollywood was capable of crafting spectacular special effect, yet something
rung terribly hollow at the heart of
both of these lavish remakes.
Perhaps
the problem is that the A-list actors, writers, producers and directors engaged in
these remakes were essentially working with “B” material, but without the
appreciation or zeal for the material that the original “B” movie teams had so
clearly and abundantly demonstrated in the past.
There’s
a crucial difference, we must finally acknowledge between creating an original work of art and inheriting that same property years later, determined to make it “relevant”
and “popular” again.
The
artistry, invention and love that goes into making something for the very first time is not
necessarily the same thing as -- years after the property has made its name -- applying
a paint job, or a superficial renovation. But of course, even Lost in Space the TV series was an adaptation of a work of art in a different form, Space Family Robinson.
But the point is that when
a movie remake is launched, the property already possesses a history, a context, a
vibe, and a perception by the culture-at-large.
The critical task of the remake-r is to interpret those pre-existing
characteristics and determine the “why” behind the initial and residual
success.
But
that “why” isn’t always easy to understand, and it is even more difficult to
replicate.
The
message -- which I understood in 1998 and
try to hold in my thoughts even now
-- is that you can’t go home again.
Lost
in Space
(1965 – 1968) is irrevocably a product of its time, the mid-1960s. As a series
it combined fairy tale whimsy and innocence with a schizophrenic approach to science
and the future. On one hand, the
Robinson pioneers possessed all of this wonderful, space-age, Matt-Mason-like
technology to make their lives easier, and on the other hand the same
technology had stranded them in some far corner of the universe.
Lost in Space on TV also featured this
great, mid-1960s space age paraphernalia: boxy, oversized and predominantly silver,
with lots of blinking, bright lights.
There was a can-do attitude – a holdover
from Camelot, perhaps – at work in the series too, despite the premise of
being “lost.” And love or hate the Dr.
Smith role and the use to which the character was put during three tumultuous seasons,
Jonathan Harris exhibited incredible commitment to that role.
And
the 1998 Lost in Space movie?
Absolutely
no expense was spared in terms of special effects, in terms of sets, and in
terms of lead actors, but somehow the movie doesn’t connect on the same simple
human level that the series did on a weekly basis.
The
filmmakers apparently believe we want to see in this franchise weaving spaceships and lots and
lots of fireballs. They think that’s “the
why” of Lost in Space, though the Irwin Allen series could afford no
such bells and whistles.
Or
perhaps the movie doesn’t work because, in a bow to reality and the drastic
changes in American culture, the new Lost in Space family is portrayed as
wholly dysfunctional and somewhat unpleasant. This is an attempt to make the family-oriented
property fit in better during a new era; to reflect our 1990s era domestic reality. But it’s nonetheless a change that isn’t
entirely welcome. It’s very much the
same problem that plagued the new Battlestar Galactica re-imagination.
There’s
a vast difference between a family facing challenges and crises from the outside – a kind of Little House on the Prairie template, where life throws ample challenges
at you – and facing internal, personal character flaws such as alcoholism or narcissism. In a dramatic crisis
situation and sci-fi setting, like the extermination of the human race or
being lost in space, viewers want to see – I
believe – characters clinging together and fighting the “elements,” as it
were, not battling “personal” subplots about alcoholism that were trite when As
the World Turns vetted them thirty years ago. I think people want to see the best of mankind
fighting the Cylons or space spiders, not the worst of us.
Or
finally, maybe this 1988 movie fails simply because some of the casting doesn’t
seem based on who is best for the role, but who boasts the most marquee
value. Matt Le Blanc, in particular,
doesn’t exude the intelligence necessary to portray a believable space
pilot. His gum-chewing horn-toad comes off
as hopelessly and irrevocably dumb. His dialogue,
consisting of lines like “Yee hah!,” “show time!” and “last one to get a bad guy buys the beer,” is banal on a level that the old TV series could not even have conceived
Critics,
generally, weren’t impressed with Lost in Space. Writing in The New York Times, Janet
Maslin wrote:
“This "Lost in Space" is
much more chaotic and less innocent than its source.” Roger Ebert (accurately) termed the film “dim-witted,”
and The San Francisco Chronicle called
it “a warm wallow in the cinema of the dumbed-down.”
All these critics were chipping away at the edges
of one particularly relevant argument: that
child-like innocence has been supplanted by a kind of witless breathlessness. The original Lost in Space wasn’t
Shakespeare to be certain, but nor was it patently, overtly, cheerfully dumb. Some episodes, even today, play as lyrical
fairy tales, stories of family values re-asserted in a land of
extra-terrestrial magic, and occasional terror.
You can’t look back honestly at some of those old
black-and-white stories, like “My Friend, Mr. Nobody,” “One of Our Dogs is
Missing” or “The Magic Mirror” without feeling a sense of wondrous, child-like
imagination, if not strict devotion to established science. It might have more in common with The Wizard of Oz than Star Trek, but Lost in Space, the TV series...had something, especially in those early black and white days.
By contrast, the Lost in Space movie seeks
to hammer the audience with a pile-up of catastrophic incidents (many
admittedly interesting, at least initially), and at the same time, pay lip
service to the family values vibe of the original.
In a bit of too-clever criticism, the movie’s Dr.
Smith asks at one point: “will every
little problem be an excuse for family sentiment?” That is precisely the movie’s modus operandi. To its ultimate detriment.
“And the monkey flips the switch”
In 2058, Earth is on the edge of oblivion. The environment is dying and the only hope
for survival is to colonize a faraway world, Alpha Prime. To do so, however, two “hyper gates” must be
built, one in Earth orbit, and one in orbit of Alpha Prime. When both are up and running, colony ships can
jump instantly from one point to the other, and the relocation of man can
begin.
Professor John Robinson (William Hurt) leads a
mission to Alpha Prime to construct the second hypergate. Because of the long duration of the mission -- a decade -- his family comes along aboard the Jupiter 2. Among the crew are his wife Maureen Robinson (Mimi
Rogers), physician Judy Robinson (Heather Graham), petulant teenager Penny (Lacey
Chabert) and boy genius Will (Jack Johnson).
But Professor Robinson’s problems begin when a
new, less-than-cooperative hot shot pilot, Major West (Matt Le Blanc) assumes
the role of pilot on Jupiter 2, and a saboteur from the Global Sedition, Dr.
Smith (Gary Oldman) programs the ship’s Robot (Dick Tufeld) to destroy the
Robinsons once the craft is in flight.
Averting a disaster in space, the Jupiter 2 “jumps”
through the sun and becomes hopelessly lost in space and time. The Robinsons run afoul of strange, alien
spiders on a derelict spaceship, and later crash-land on an inhospitable planet
where they encounter their future, tragically-altered selves.
There -- in that peek into a dark future -- John gets the chance to see how his absence
as a father has affected a grown-up Will.
“There are monsters everywhere...I know, I am
one.”
Lost in Space
combines a number of plots from the old TV series, including elements of “The
Reluctant Stowaway,” “The Derelict” and any episode in which Dr. Smith makes
trouble for the Robinsons by interfacing with alien biology/technology or
personnel (“Wish Upon A Star,” “Ghost in Space,” “The Space Trader,” “His
Majesty Smith,” “All that Glitters,” “The Dream Monster,” and so on…).
The film, directed by Stephen Hopkins, also
attempts fidelity in terms of production design. The Jupiter 1 in the film looks much like the
TV series’ Jupiter 2, for instance, and before the end of the movie, the newer high-tech robot has been re-built by Will to resemble the popular B9, that
famous “bubble-headed booby” and cousin to Robby the Robot. Even the interiors look like faithful if
updated reconstructions of the 1960s sets, only with more curves and a more
organic feel.
Of all the cast, Le Blanc fares the worst. He is utterly unlikable as West, and given
the worst dialogue to vet. William Hurt seems
bored and disconnected as Professor Robinson.
Mimi Rogers and Heather Graham are okay, and only Gary Oldman absolutely
shines. In fact, Oldman’s version of the
treacherous Dr. Smith character feels like a real tribute to Jonathan Harris,
coming off as arrogantly self-important and straddling the line between good
and evil. Oldman mines considerable
humor and menace from the screenplay, and is the movie’s most valuable player. He's great here.
The most contrived portions of Lost
in Space involve Maureen’s unceasing complaints about John’s “time.” She constantly nags him about spending more
hours with Will, even though she also has two daughters and he doesn’t spend
any time with them, either. So yes, apparently
only young boys, not young girls, require quality time with their father. Who knew the world would be so sexist, still, in 2058? I guess we know who wins the war on women...
More crucially, Maureen’s complaints come off as
rather selfish and small given the context of what’s happening around her. John Robinson is struggling to save the planet Earth and the human race, and sure,
it would be nice if he could attend his son’s science fair. But I wager his
priorities are just about right. In
fact, I bet if Will were given a choice, he’d decide that his Dad should, you
know, save the planet, so that all
kids can enjoy science fairs for years to come.
The John-needs-to-spend-more-time-with-Will
subplot is a manufactured crisis and a contrivance that isn’t truly believable
given the narrative details. The movie
sort of proves it’s a non-issue when the older Will – even with Spider Smith as a surrogate father – does the right thing
to save the universe and his family. I
guess John imparted some good qualities to his boy in the time he had. He may be "busy" (again, saving the world") but he isn't negligent or absent.
Again, the old series didn’t contend with these “emo”
touches. The Robinsons were essentially space
pioneers and, well, a planet had to be tamed.
John Robinson (Guy Williams) was always there for his son if Will (Bill Mumy) needed him, but there
wasn’t this constant hand-wringing on the TV series about how much time the two were spending
together. Here, the subplot is a little
touchy-feely and unrealistic given the circumstances.
Bottom line: there’s not a lot of time for father-child
closeness when your spaceship is plunging into the sun, battling metal spiders,
crash-landing, or hovering at the edge of a dangerous space-time bubble.
Sorry, kid. Suck it
up.
Even family must, as we all know too well, bow to reality,
and I generally resent movies that suggest everything would be okay if a Dad
and son just spent a little more time together. Meanwhile, the planet is
falling apart….
Another problem with the film is that, in post-production,
apparently, someone decided that the film needed to be funnier. Therefore, we get an
out-of-left-field The Waltons joke (“and good night, John Boy...”) delivered in embarrassed
voice-over. The problem isn't that the joke isn't funny, though it isn't. The problem is that it doesn’t
fit the scene. We get a nice fade-out on
John and Maureen about to have sex, and then the very next instant, we’re onto a sound cue of the same two
characters saying “good night” to each other and the kids, like this is the
galactic Brady Bunch. Like so
much of the film’s humor, it’s groan-inducing.
As incongruous as that moment remains, the space
creature that the Robinsons discover, Blawp is even worse. He has been crafted to look absolutely
ridiculous. The design of this alien
might have fit in on the original series, forty years ago, but it in no way
fits the palette of the 1998 film. Blawp
doesn’t look like the product of a universe that includes the movie Robinsons and the
truly scary alien metal spiders.
Instead, Blawp looks as though he was shipped in from the funny pages, circa
1959. Every time the creature appears,
his presence takes you right out of the reality of the movie.
It’s not just that the creature is composed of
bad CGI. It’s that the visualization of the creature is all wrong for
the earthy production canvas; fanciful and whimsical in a movie of skin-tight body
suits and dark browns and greys.
Despite my reservations about the movie, Lost in Space begins
relatively well. Even though the opening space battle between the Global
Sedition and United Global Space Force is entirely unnecessary, the first hour of
the film establishes well the threat to Earth. The first act boasts a decent pace,
and there’s a respectable level of excitement and anticipation. The battle on the alien derelict
against the metal spiders is also thrilling. From the point, however, in which
John goes into the time bubble, the movie gets lost itself.
Lost and
incoherent.
As the movie ends, Future Will throws Present John
through a time vortex, but it isn’t entirely clear if West already has the power cells
the Jupiter 2 needs for lift-off, if John has them, or if Future Will still has
them. Why is the Jupiter 2 attempting escape velocity without the power
source it needs? Why isn't anyone commenting on, essentially, a suicide run?
Then, the movie ends without resolving Dr. Smith’s
crisis. He’s slowly turning into a giant spider monster, but there are no
attempts to treat the condition, or even quarantine the guy. The movie ends without even a hint of resolution
on this front. But this is after John,
Will, the Robot and Smith himself have seen his future manifestation. I very much doubt Smith would stay silent, knowing he is carrying an infection that will transform him into a giant arachnid.
Also, Lost in Space never squares the circle in terms of the future. The
robot of the future comes back in time to the Jupiter 2…but in the “real”
timeline, Will never finishes building that robot. So if he does, there will be two robots?
If he doesn’t finish work on the robot, then
where did the robot come from, having never actually been constructed by Will? I’m not saying that this is an unworkable
dilemma, only that the movie might have made note of the time
paradox. A joke about it would have been fine.
As a general premise, Lost in Space boasts great
potential, even today. The idea of a
family alone on an alien world, trying to make a go of things, offers nearly
infinite story ideas. You don’t have to
make the movie schmaltzy, or wall-to-wall action to make the scenario work
effectively. You just need a few
characters you like, some tough conditions, and a sense that – as a
family – the pioneers will stick together and see the mission through,
no matter the challenges. But this Lost
in Space wants to hit you on the head with incongruous platitudes about
family (a lot like the Dark Shadows remake I reviewed on Tuesday…)
and then wow you with special effects explosions.
Although I felt a legitimate thrill hearing Dick Tufeld
voice the Robot again in this film, I remember well 1998 and my discontent
regarding this film. It remains a lost opportunity, and an emotionally hollow adventure.
Danger, Will
Robinson!
