Ask JKM a Question #27: Kirk or Picard? Joel or Mike?

A reader, Arthur, asks me:

“Three questions:

Kirk or Picard?

Joel or Mike

Marvel or DC?”

Thanks for the question, Arthur.  I feel like you’re setting me up for a fan war here, however.  You’re really putting me on the spot!

The short and obvious answer in each  case is that each individual or publisher boasts its own unique merits, and that the world is such that we can easily enjoy all of them, without the necessity of picking either/or.   

That’s my first answer.

But I said when I started out “Ask JKM a Question” that I’d answer thoroughly, completely and honestly all questions. 

So here goes.

In terms of my personal preferences:

Kirk. I grew up with Captain James T. Kirk (William Shatner), so it’s not a surprise that I would select him over Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart).

I prefer Captain Kirk because he forges real, close friendships with his crew (Spock and McCoy, notably), rather than standing at a distance from them. Furthermore, he is passionate and engaged, not aloof and prickly.

I prefer Kirk because he is equally capable of diplomacy and battle if the situation calls for it.  Captain Picard -- who surrendered the Federation flagship two times during his first year of command and who is famous, career-wise, for losing another starship (The Stargazer) -- is an accomplished diplomat but no tactician. 

Picard’s own first officer, Riker, commanding an eighty-year old starship defeated Picard and the Federation flagship in a war game simulation “Peak Performance,” for example. 

I also appreciate that Kirk is a bit more tenacious, never giving up, no matter what. Knowing his starship is going to be destroyed after setting the self-destruct (“Let that be Your Last Battlefield”), Kirk never gives up and never relents, until becoming victorious over Bele in the last five seconds of the countdown. 

By contrast, Picard sets his ship to auto-destruct, then retires to his cabin, alone, to listen to music for the last hour of his life (“Where Silence Has Lease.”)  He doesn’t comfort the crew, he doesn’t keep fighting.  He just goes off to be by himself...resigned. To me, this makes Picard a weak leader of men, even if he is a great scholar, historian, diplomat, and archaeologist.

I guess it comes down to what qualities you seek in a starship commander.  The universe has room for both captains and their individual strengths.  IDIC and all that.

Joel. Joel is the caring but occasionally disciplining “fun” Dad of the bots on the Satellite of Love.  He offers guidance and some (modest) level of maturity to Crow and Servo, his kids. 

Mike, by contrast, is the young uncle who is just as immature as his wards, and just as prone to getting into trouble.  There is almost no line of distinction between the Bots and Mike: they’re three of a kind.  When Mike is around, the Satellite of Love is more like a frat house atmosphere, I guess, and thus I missed Joel’s presence. 

I also feel that Joel’s jokes about movies tend to come out of a place of love but utter exasperation with the sci-fi  and horro genres when they doen’t live up to what they can be. His delivery is somehow more…innocent.

Mike’s jokes, while undeniably funny, boast an edgier tenor. 

It’s a subtle difference in the riffing, but a noticeable one.

That said, I don’t dislike Mike, and I actually enjoy his era tremendously.  He’s a great host too, and in my opinion, MST3K doesn’t get any better than Space Mutiny and Future War…two Mike era movies. 

Still, I give the edge to Joel for the reasons diagrammed above, and because, of course, in real life, Joel Hodgson created the series.  I named my son, Joel, after all...

I should probably add, however, that you couldn’t have replaced Joel with someone just like Joel, any more than you could replace Kirk with someone just like Kirk.  In both cases, a new character had to be created and developed who could stand apart as an individual.  I just happen to like the original more in both instances.  But the fact that so many people love Picard and Mike suggests that both characters were marvelous successes.

Your third question -- DC or Marvel -- I honestly find unanswerable. I can’t choose.

My all-time favorite superhero is DC’s Superman (followed by Marvel’s Captain America), so DC comes out on top in that regard. 

But I love how Marvel changed the nature of the superhero milieu in the 1960s and began expressing a new heroic paradigm with The X-Men, The Hulk and The Amazing Spider-Man. 

Overall I prefer the Marvel aesthetic, even if  D.C's Superman is absolutely number one in my book.

I hope that answered your question.  I'm just glad you didn't ask me Vertigo or Citizen Kane.  (Answer: Citizen Kane.  By a mile...).

Don’t forget to send me questions at Muirbusiness@yahoo.com.