Movie Trailer: The Neverending Story (1984)

Joel's Christmas Haul

Here's a sampling of Joel's Christmas collection, from parents, grandparents, and other family members!

The Seven Most Dangerous Computers in Cult-Television History (and a Few Friendlier Models Too...)

Some years ago, a dear friend presented me with a coffee cup inscribed with this legend: “To err is human. To really screw things up you need a computer.” 

Many times over the years, I’ve been reminded of that quotation while watching episodes of cult television programming. The trope of the "villainous super computer" is now extremely well-established in horror and sci-fi, so today I decided to present my choices for the most dangerous of this TV computer bunch.

The selections range from mildly dangerous (#7) to most intensely, world-destroying, time-freezing dangerous (#1).  In addition, I’ve also added a few examples of human-friendly computers below, so no one will accuse me of being rabidly anti-computer.

7. “Goodfellow’s Effort Eliminating Computer” or “G.E.E.C,” from The Super Friends (1973 – 1974).  This colossal computer was created by the kindly Professor Goodfellow for a noble purpose: to free mankind from the yoke of physical work and hard labor. 

The giant machine was programmed to handle everything from manufacturing to transportation to other routine business matters. Unfortunately, when mankind doesn’t work, drive and meaning disappear from life and mankind suffers.  Fortunately, the Super Friends realize that “it’s good for people to work, or they won’t have purpose.” 

In the end, however it is a mouse that destroys the Goodfellow computer not a superhero, thus proving that machines are not infallible.

6. “The General,” from The Prisoner (1967).  In this episode of the short-lived British series, the imprisoned Number Six (Patrick McGoohan) learns that some of his fellow villagers are being mysteriously educated by a mysterious and sinister force.  Unraveling the puzzle, he learns that the education system – Speed Learn -- is actually an insidious form of mind-control, shepherded by a super computer known as “The General.” 

Programmed with vast stores of knowledge, the machine can apparently answer any question about history, mathematics or any other subject.  It's a veritable high-tech Oracle of Delphi.  At least, that is, until crafty Number Six asks the General a one-word interrogative: “why?” 

The General promptly and accommodatingly short-circuits.

5. Checkpoint Devices Model “Omega.”  In the Ark II (1976) episode “Omega,” the intrepid crew of the Ark II discovers that a nearby village recently re-activated a super computer from the pre-apocalypse era. 

This giant, monolith-like device can completely control human minds, particularly the minds of the very young.  Seizing control of the children, Omega orders the youngsters to enslave their parents and grandchildren and put them to work in the fields.  Soon, Ark II personnel Ruth and Samuel fall prey to Omega’s anti-social mind directives, while Jonah attempts to defeat the computer in a life-sized game of Chess...the only method of de-activating it. 

When that gambit fails, it’s up to the talking chimpanzee (!) Adam – a life form that Omega has denigrated as inferior – to stop the computer from taking complete control of the village.

4. “Will Operating Thought Anologue,” or WOTAN, from Doctor Who: “The War Machine.”  In this early era tale from 1966, the First Doctor (William Hartnell) matches wits with a super computer called WOTAN, which has concluded that mankind is a mortal danger to the safety of the planet, and accordingly sets out to create ambulatory war machines to eradicate this threat.  

Like “Omega” in Ark II, WOTAN boasts the unusual capacity – for a machine anyway – to hypnotize human beings.  It uses this insidious power to begin transforming the human race into mindless slave labor…for the manufacture and construction of more mobile units. 

In the end, the Doctor is able to re-program the evil computer and save the Earth…again.

3. The M-5, from Star Trek.  Invented by Dr. Richard Daystrom (William Marshall) “the M-5 Multitronic System” is installed aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise in the second season episode “The Ultimate Computer.”  The ship maintains only a skeleton crew to oversee the machine while it assumes total control.  

At first, all seems well, until M-5 begins to act…independently.  Without orders, it begins shutting down life support on parts of the ship, and then it opens fire on an unmanned freighter, the Woden (no relation to WOTAN).  All attempts to shut down the computer fail, and when a (red-shirt) ensign attempts to pull M-5’s plug, it incinerates him.  

The key to M-5’s erratic behavior involves the fact that it has been programmed with Dr. Daystrom’s “memory engrams.”  This development means that machine is as psychologically unstable as its creator.  Unfortunately, there’s a catastrophic downside: The Enterprise is scheduled to go into a war game simulation against four other warships, the Hood, Potemkin, Lexington and Excalibur.  The M-5 characterizes the game as a real battle situation, and sets out to destroy the Starfleet vessels…and all those aboard her.  Captain Kirk (William Shatner) realizes it’s time to make an appeal to M-5’s human side, and that’s precisely what he does.

A runner-up from Star Trek might be the society-controlling Landru from “Return of the Archons,” which erases human individuality and creates a collective known as “The Body.”

2. “Alex 7000,” from The Bionic Woman: “Doomsday is Today.”  This machine -- and apparent blood relative of the Hal 9000 -- is the invention and child of a pacifist named Dr. Elijah Cooper (Lew Ayres).  

As the two-part episode by Kenneth Johnson opens, Cooper makes an announcement to the world that he has invented a “cobalt bomb” which can destroy the world.  Worse, he plans to use this doomsday device if any nation on Earth attempts to deploy or even test a nuclear bomb.  This is his (admittedly strange…) way of assuring peace.

A small Middle-Eastern country violates Cooper’s terms, leaving Alex 7000 to fulfill the doctor's orders and…destroy the Earth.  The world’s first bionic woman, Jaime Sommers (Lindsay Wagner) attempts to de-activate Alex 7000 in the computer’s vast subterranean complex, but he is capable of defending himself with laser beams, machine gun fire, mines, and other devices. 

1. “The Guardian of Piri.”  This alien computer from Space: 1999 (1975 – 1977) -- not unlike a more advanced model of the G.E.E.C. – was initially created to relieve the physical and mental burdens of the people of the distant world of Piri.

Unfortunately, in making their lives “perfect,” The Guardian succeeded only in destroying its own creators.  The Guardian locked Piri in a static bubble of time (because perfection must last forever...) and then transformed the humanoid denizens of the world into near mindless catatonics with no physical needs or desires. 

When Earth’s errant moon passes into range of the Guardian’s influence, the deadly machine attempts to make the Alphans’ life perfect too, putting the humans next in line to suffer the same fate. 

Only Commander Koenig (Martin Landau) resists the hypnotic call of the Guardian.  He saves his people by destroying the Guardian’s sultry servant (Catherine Schell), another “perfect” machine.  As the Alphans return to space, they see that life has returned to Piri, the Guardian’s hold over time itself also destroyed.

Other dangerous computers appeared in the Quark episode: “Vanessa 38-24-36” and in The X-Files episodes “Ghost in the Machine” and “Kill Switch.”

Despite the examples above, we must remember that cult-TV computers are our friends too.

Among the more benevolent were:

“The Old Man in the Cave.”  In this fifth season Twilight Zone episode (1964) set ten years after a nuclear apocalypse, one handful of survivors owes  its very survival to the always-correct advice of the Old Man in the Cave, an unseen stranger.  They don't realize until the episode’s climax that the “old man” is actually a benevolent computer.  They repay its kindness and loyalty by hurling stones at it and short-circuiting the poor machine. 

In one of the most nihilistic endings in cult tv history, these ungrateful survivors soon die...after eating contaminated food that the Old Man in the Cave had warned them not to consume.

“Orac.”  This super computer designed by the scientist Ensor was brought aboard the Liberator at the end of the first season of Blake’s 7 (1978 – 1981).  Possessing, at times, human qualities such as stubbornness and pride, Orac is capable of interfacing with every computer in the galaxy possessing a “tarriel cell.”   Orac can even predict the future, it seems, on some important occasions. 

Orac is rendered functional by use of a small rectangular key, and also possesses a thirst for knowledge which equates, sometimes, to endangering the very rebels it works with.  Orac alone survived the series’ final massacre on Gauda Prime, in the episode “Blake.”

“The Turk.” In Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (2008 – 2009), Sarah, John and Cameron at first believe that the computer “The Turk” is an early version of the destructive computer network, Skynet (on TV and in T3 a “worm” on the Internet, not an actual computer system). But in fact, the Turk is a “brother” artificial intelligence to Skynet, and one with the capacity to help the human race.

Other "good" cult-tv computers include SID on UFO, and Dr. Theopolis on Buck Rogers in the 25th Century.

How the Future Looked Back Then: The Cult-TV Control Rooms of the 1970s

SHADO Headquarters (UFO).

Earthship Ark Bridge (The Starlost)

Main Mission, Moonbase Alpha (Space:1999)

Command Center, Moonbase Alpha (Space:1999)

The Cetacean (Man from Atlantis)

Space Academy/Star Command HQ (Space Academy, Jason of Star Command)

Space Station Perma One (Quark)

Galactica Bridge (Battlestar Galactica)

Argo bridge, Star Blazers

Collectible of the Week: Space Academy Action Figures (Hasbro; Aviva; 1977)

Space Academy (1977) is the story of futuristic young cadets at a university in space; flying on missions in Seeker space craft and learning lessons about the galaxy at large. The late Jonathan Harris played the wise instructor, Isaac Gampu.

These four Space Academy action figures were released in 1977 and distributed by Woolworth Co., (New York, NY, 10007). 

They were produced by Hasbro/Aviva, and their price tag shows they cost $3.99 at the time (though Loki, being shorter than the rest, was $3.33). 

I'm old enough to remember seeing these toys on the shelves and wanting desperately to own them. And what I would have given for a Seeker space craft toy or model! 

Anyway, at the time, as a youngster (in second grade...) I just assumed the series would continue and become popular like Star Trek. Didn't quite happen that way, however since 1977 also saw the release of a little production called Star Wars...

Leaving that aside for a moment, there are four figures in this set. The packaging, as you can see, is quite exciting and colorful; each figure is adorned with eight photographs from the series, showcasing the fabulous set interiors as well as the impressive miniatures. Each figure boasts the Space Academy logo and the line "A Flying University, Almost a City in Size."

The Gampu figure features an illustration of the character (dressed in blue...) amid several computer read outs. Unfortunately, his name has been misspelled as Issac instead of as Isaac.  On the back of Gampu's box is this description: "Instructor in Space Academy and Favorite of the students, Professor Gampu, "Issac" to his classes."

Chris Gentry, who is here described as a "Member of Space Academy" is shown in his illustration showing off his muscles. Although they didn't make a figure of his sister, Laura, they should have...because these two shared a psychic link in the series. On the back of his box: "Chris is an athlete, a linguist and has earned a reputation as being the Academy's most proficient cadet pilot."

The third action figure is "Tee Gar Soom," and his card reads "almost Super-Human Strength." His illustration reveals him hurling what appear to be giant purple and blue gum balls or something. The back side of the Soom card reads: "One of the Orient's contributions to the Space Academy, Tee Gar, or "Tiger" as he is better known, is a medical student, enrolled in the academy's school of space medicine." We don't use the term Orient in 2013, so I doubt we would in the thirtieth century either...

Last but not least is "Loki," "Everybody's mascot." He is described as "a young boy, perhaps thirteen, possessing certain supernatural power that enables him to become invisible." The whole Loki character and background, by the way, got assimilated for Odo on Deep Space Nine. (An orphan; in search of his home; with unique abilities that separate him from the humans he works with...).

Anyway, I love these figures, although they are now showing their age (three decades this year!). All the figures' hands have fallen off; their glue long-since having lost their adhesion. 

A number of "adventures" outfits were also released for these action figures, some of which are seen below.

Merry Christmas!

Everyone here in Muir-ville wishes readers a very Merry Christmas. 

Joel, Kathryn and I hope your holiday is filled with love, joy, good food, good health...and great movies and television.

We also hope Santa Claus is very good to one and all...

All I Want for Christmas Countdown #1: Rom the Spaceknight (Parker Bros.)

The X-Files 20th Anniversary Blogging: "How the Ghosts Stole Christmas" (December 13, 1998)

Written and directed by series creator Chris Carter, “How the Ghosts Stole Christmas” is both a tale about the holiday season, and one about the unbreakable bond connecting Mulder and Scully.

In brief, this sixth season X-Files story concerns a fearsome haunted house.  Inside, two old ghosts -- bound together for eternity by their murder pact -- attempt to make Scully and Mulder re-enact their "love"…by killing each other. 

Edgar Rice Burroughs once suggested that “nearly one” are the emotions of “love and hate,” and this episode plays out as an examination of that observation.  Passion can be either a positive or negative force in relationships, and the passion that Mulder and Scully feel for each other (and for their own world-views) is the very thing the ghosts attempt to twist to their will.

What’s humorous and intriguing about “How the Ghosts Stole Christmas,” however is the fact that the ghosts attempt to psychoanalyze their guests first. They try to build “doubt” inside them by targeting feelings of inferiority, or low self-esteem.  Mulder is forced to see himself as a lonely, pitiful narcissist, and Scully must face the possibility that she stays in Mulder’s orbit simply to prove him wrong…and herself right.

Or to put it another way, the ghosts make Mulder and Scully question their very own natures.  

And then -- after cracking that foundation of belief/esteem -- the ghosts send each agent to kill their counterpart.  But Scully and Mulder rebound.  They find the strength, resourcefulness, and hope inside themselves -- and inside each other -- to escape the death trap.

“How the Ghosts Stole Christmas” is thus a story, in some way, about how having the right person in your life to give you strength.  The right partner (in the F.B.I. or in love…) can build you back up when society at large -- or other dark forces -- try to pull you down.  

You can respond to "Christmas melancholy" or other emotional strife by giving into it, or by resisting it. In this episode we see examples of both paradigms.  But only one way will assure happiness...

On Christmas Eve, Mulder (David Duchovny) asks a reluctant Scully (Gillian Anderson) to stake out a reputedly haunted house in Maryland.  There, in 1917, two lovers committed suicide, and their ghosts apparently still roam the hallways.

Once inside the imposing house, Mulder and Scully find that the stories possess some truth.  The doors lock behind them, and the agents find themselves trapped inside the labyrinth-like hallways.  And under the rickety floor board s of the library, Scully and Mulder make a terrible discovery: their own rotting corpses.

The agents attempt to escape the fate promised by that vision, but must first survive the manipulations of the two spirits, Maurice (Edward Asnwer) and Lydia (Lily Tomlin) who would like Mulder and Scully to join them in the house…for eternity.

“How the Ghosts Stole Christmas” is a remarkably intimate episode of The X-Files. Only four individuals are seen in the entire hour; two living and two dead.  The setting is also generally limited to Maurice and Lydia’s house, save for the brief coda at Mulder’s apartment. 

Accordingly -- with all the “noise” or “clutter” out of the way -- one begins to feel that the ghosts haunting Mulder and Scully are not just spectral ones, but psychological ones.  

The holidays can be a time, often, of depression, sadness, and loneliness.  These emotions play out as the backdrop to the struggle the protagonists face here.  Mulder, for example, goes to great lengths to describe to Scully the Christmas of 1917 -- Maurice and Lydia's time -- as a season of “dark, dark, despair” when tragedy was a visitor “on every doorstep.” 

Mulder talks specifically about big, earth-shattering events like World War I, and the flu epidemic, but on another level, he is certainly discussing his own existential angst; his own “dark, dark, despair” and fear -- especially at this time of year -- that he will always remain alone, unloved.  You don’t need a pandemic or a global conflict to be sad at Christmas time, after all.  

Scully faces her own fears too.  Has she traded the comfort of family and a “normal life” for the pleasure of proving Mulder wrong?  Is it her destiny to be forever conducting stake-outs on Christmas Eve? 

This “woeful Christmas melancholy” beats at the heart of “How the Ghosts Stole Christmas,” and the ghosts make the crisis worse.  Are Mulder and Scully together only because they are lonely, pathetic individuals with no one else to spend time with?  Their Christmas “adventure” seems to stress this idea; that no one would have them, save for each other.  This is the fear that Maurice and Lydia knowingly play upon.

But the antidote to “how lonely Christmas can be” -- and which the ghosts nastily term “intimacy through co-dependency” -- is actually a deep friendship and love that can stand any test, even the test of what appears to be a fatal bullet wound. 

There’s a strong contrast between the couples here, and that's a result of the episode's clever construction and structure.  Lydia and Maurice gave in to the darkness of their time.  They surrendered to it as inevitable, and now spend eternity attempting to validate their choice to die, forcing other pairs of lovers to re-enact their gruesome end. 

But oppositely, Mulder and Scully don’t give in to the despair.  They are able to find not just love, but hope in each other.  They choose to continue living.  That’s why, finally, they escape.  They each have the other one pushing them to live, to keep asking questions, to meet the next challenge.

Accordingly, Scully and Mulder don’t let the ghosts steal Christmas, or the Christmases yet to come. Instead, they escape their own foibles and fears, and spend the holiday where they belong: together

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to All!!!

The X-Files Promo: "How the Ghosts Stole Christmas"

All I Want for Christmas Countdown #2: Mego's Wayne Foundation

Ask JKM a Question: To Play, or To Display?

A reader, James, writes:

“I liked your toys of childhood series of blogs recently which brought back many positive memories from my youth in the sixties and seventies when my favorite toys were the Matt Mason ones.

I also read that you allow your son to play with your vintage toy collection. Isn’t that irresponsible given the value of many of those toys today?”

James, thank you for the question.  I absolutely understand your point, and my wife winces every now and then when a vintage robot or action figure falls off the shelf, it’s true. 

But I made a decision when we moved into our house back in 2009 that my son would have access to the toys in my home office -- at least the open ones -- and that he would be allowed to explore them and play with them. 

There’s nothing wrong with owning toys for display, but most of the vintage toys I write about on the bog were manufactured to be played with…by children. 

I prefer to let my son enjoy these toys rather than worrying about them breaking, or fretting over their ultimate “value.”  Already, some of my most-prized plastic toys from the 1970s are yellowing, so they may not last long anyway, let alone long enough for the perfect re-sale.

And the memories Joel and I make and share while playing with toys like Big Trak, Star Bird, Castle Grayskull, Snake Mountain, the Knight of Darkness, or Voltron are --  in the final analysis -- worth more to me than owning the toys in pristine condition.  To misquote Indiana Jones, my toys don’t belong in a museum.  I have already played with some of them (as a child), or some were purchased in used condition (at flea markets and yard sales).  I don’t want to be too precious about "things."

Again, I’m not advocating my choice for anyone else. I’m just saying that it works for my family, and Joel and I are happy with the arrangement.

Besides, the deal is reciprocal.  Joel lets me play with his toys too, as long as I’m careful (and my god, he’s got a great Doctor Who collection…).